Shitposter? I hardly know her!

My hot take is that Disney adults shouldn't have children

They got lost tryna find the cheese rave

I've never been this on time to work! (Is 15mins late)

Submitted that bullshit just to owe a crippling amount AND I just got a notification that my credit score dropped over 150 points? All this shit is fake

I knew I shouldn't have paid my taxes

Leave my Friends and Lovers the Fuck Alone. Acrylic on Canvas.
Shout out to @twitterofficial.bsky.social for posing for this.

There were actual punks chainsmoking in front of search and destroy on St. Marks... Maybe they were crisis actors, idk

Do you want bottom surgery in the future? Wanna make sure you can’t have babies? Masculinize a bit faster? Maybe something else? I wrote a short guide about hysterectomies and HRT.

I can't believe my Tiktok barber just compared me to peso pluma 😭 I thought I had escaped the comparisons by now

Actors David Eigenberg and Cynthia Nixon embrace in a restaurant

Exes to oomfies pipeline

When you hate your new haircut, but your barber is hot so you gotta put on a brave face for him 😔✊

Why do I have to have a good hair day when I'm about to get a haircut? Does my hair know I'm getting rid of it

The Gulf of Mexico on Google Maps, correctly identified as The Gulf of Mexico and absolutely nothing else

My VPN works

Why would you make your narrator unreliable. I trusted you and purchased this book and this is how you repay me

When the jelly bean I just ate wasn't the flavor I thought it would be

My next lover is probably laughing at lemony garlic miso gochujang brown butter pasta memes rn

I go to the gym 3x a week for aesthetic reasons ONLY

Not only am I gay, I can't even punch. I couldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

no shut up this doom won’t scroll itself

On the inside I'm a memelord, on the outside I have nothing to say

i wish italian people were real

Vintage sports broadcast of a tennis match with text at the bottom that say "Next: an upsetting day"

:)

My visit with my mom is going great!

patrick star from spongebob sits on a rock with his eyes closed Alt: patrick star from spongebob sits on a rock with his eyes closed

I am so fucken zen rn. Anything within my control I have under control, anything outside of my control ain't my gd problem

is it illegal to mention those here? Lol

There's a tweet that goes "Oh, you're a people pleaser? Name 3 people who are pleased with you" and that has done more to cure my ppl pleasing tendencies than all my therapy sessions combined

A mildly disgruntled orange cat lays belly up in a giant steel wok covered in fresh herbs

When I say I'm cooked, this is what I mean

Been feeling pretty weird about my appearance lately, but I just saw my doppelganger at the gym, in flare sweatpants and with impeccable pecs no less - and can I just say, it improved my self esteem immensely. He was hot

It's been like a year and a half and this is still my fucken problem smh