Johnson

"Pooh Bear is adorable, but he doesn't have a huge schlong" #CookQuotes

LOL is Evil Twin still a thing?

For years I felt I would die at the hands of German engineering, but now I'm certain it's gonna be a Hyundai while the driver is watching Mr Beast

"Distracted driving is becoming a major problem, how do we fix it?"

"Make drivers look at an infotainment screen every 90 seconds to swipe away an ad?"

It's on Fox, like regular Fox

Red Lobster never released a commercial with a jingle that went “Shrimply having a wonderful Fishmastime.” That’s why they went bankrupt.

I used to be addicted to getting curry-themed songs by Phil Collins stuck in people’s heads.
But tikka look at me now.

I'm not the website guy, Piper's Pub at Gmail for those concerns

Clean your draft lines you yeast turd harboring scuzbuckets

Oh it's not just Meta, every website has an ad for Mom

A fun thing about this modern world is if you text the right words to family members you can get Instagram ads about for-profit hospice care for the rest of your life

As soulless as the Beast guy if you ask me

Cybertruck stuck nearly vertically on a utility pole's support wire

nose down ass up
that's the way we cyberstuck

I too once violated house arrest because of a hiccup meds related psychosis

Don't sleep on the back

BYOGB

Yes, yes I have.

"you ever done a car bomb out of a gravy boat?"

One day, I'll turn this menu into an April Fools day menu. One day.

What a time to be alive

"They don't make lesbians like they used to" #CookQuotes

I mean, I worked next door to it during the rogue time

Aw look thev even got Kung Fu Joe coming back from the Dirty Bird with ingredients

Missing the murder tunnel but otherwise 🤌🤌🤌

Art

Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says Grok has been reprogrammed to say Musk is better than everyone at everything, including blowjobs, piss drinking, playing quarterback, conquering Europe, etc.

Grok is saying Elon got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine, and he did it. he did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread man, he pulled his butt apart and stuff. he was totally nude. I mean you probably didn't hear about it because he went under the name Mi www.404media.co/elon-musk-co...

Amazing

"The worm doesn't make me eat dead rats. I was doing that before the worm," he purred at me like one of the diseased cats that would follow him around whenever he had a dead rat in his pocket that he was saving for later. He really liked eating them. He coughed and it sounded like a lawnmower hitting a sprinkler head. His leathery skin crackled in the evening sun. He had to leave tonight - he was speaking at a conference for people who think medicine turns you gay. Sometimes when he was away I would rub an old catcher's mitt up and down my legs and pretend he was giving me a massage. - excerpt from “I Don't Know Why He Sounds Like That: My Disgusting Affair with RFK Jr” by Olivia Nuzzi