Gori the Warlock

Art by @.Obernardart on Twitter.

When the bard does a Flute solo so bad that the gods themselves decide to intervene.

You people have no idea how tempted I am to cast "animate stone" on this fella.

How mages look after flying everywhere and not using their legs for anything for 40+ years.

How it feels to use your strength for good, and be a Shepard to the lost and helpless.

Me trying to hide from the guards with 37 magic wands shoved up my ass (one of them casts levitate)

Me leaving the magic shoppe with 37 wands shoved up my ass

a close up of a person 's head in a dark room . ALT: a close up of a person 's head in a dark room .

My hatred and malice leaving my body. Making way for a new, more righteous, hatred.

Wow! I really shouldn't put my penis in there, however...

Bidet gnomes have revolted against me, now my ass itches

When you run out of spells slots and just say fuck it and throw your orb.

Accidentally cast web too close to a lit candle in my library. This is bad, this is very bad. Oh I can recover this, oh I im going to loose so many tomes.

Hill giants shattered my pelvis. Now I need to use an ever controversial wheel chair until I can find a healer.

this is how most of us are

In all my years, I can honestly say, I've never seen reanimated gnomes before.
This is very exciting.

Show of hands, who would fuck the pixie?

I used to set mouse traps, but I kept waking up to the smell of rotting pixie, and when I set up glue traps I spent most of my mornings peeling gnomes off of them.

This damn goblin of the bogs has been breaking into my home and stealing the cheese from my kitchen. How do I ward off devious and mischievous goblins?

Some times it is better to forge in the sink, than sink in the forge.

reading the ancient texts to learn about jesus’s foot fetish

The Rakshasa I summoned waiting for my command. (I forgot why I summoned them)

Saw a bunch on gnomes getting mauled by a bear cub at the store today. Froze them in time so they wouldn't die, hopefully a kind souls comes along with dispel magic and bear repellant before they go insane.

Auto correct refuses to believe I would willing type Superbowl. It keeps changing it to superb owl. I hope we get another season of what we do in the shadows.