Michael Palmer

Me (strolling down a High Street): “Oh, a delicatessen. Not been to a proper one in some time."

-VEGAN-

"... maybe big orange was right. Maybe Portland is a living-hell."

This quesadilla I’m making is effective but ultimately disappointing . Too illa, not enough queso. #mexicanfood

These new kitchen towels, “Bar Mops”, are slightly more absorbent than a duck.

Eating this pizza I wonder, why can’t I thank Saint Paperoni.

You know the carnitas you made are great when your sister halfway finishes a breakfast dish made with the leftover and panics that was the last. Then is calmed to see there is plenty more.

Waking up in the middle of the night with The Thirst. They sucks.
Grab a glass of it before you go to bed. #hydrate #IsThisStillAThing

That was not that lotion that mosquitos dislike. Aargh!!!

The popcorn is excellent tonight. One spot was perfectly heavy on the white pepper in one nose-tickling spot. #movienight #notketo

Seems like another of his “look over here!” nonsense. What illegal or morally questionable thing happened within 24 hour of this balderdash?

Don’t forget the mines.

The children yearn for the mine.

Yes, George. Yes. He is a child, and not in a fun way. When he doesn’t get what he wants he throws tantrums.

Human centipede of one.

Some days I impress myself.

That day is not today.

The fly in this room, it taunts and mocks me.

If this turns out to be another effing cake …

But seriously, that’s an amazing shot. Even if it is a cake.

It was all fine before now then Andy made it weird.

an older man with a beard is clapping his hands ALT: an older man with a beard is clapping his hands

There are plenty of us who appreciate your work. Us and a few future therapists.

I can see why he was choose to play this role, that guy is really dumb. Remember when he said he was an “Anti-Trumper”?

Maybe if these “men” paid more attention to women’s bodies they would have a better understanding of women’s health issues.

We have to stop meeting like this, poisoned oak.

Off I was to plant some eggplant, then the seeds fell out the bottom.
I have planted some eggplant!

#gardening #breaktime

There’s a bug in this room that’s proving equally and excessively annoying and wily. The kid gloves are off, one of us isn’t leaving this place alive.

Lawn care tip: Sprinklers are like tornadoes. If you can’t tell which direction it’s going assume it’s coming at you.

The moment I turned off the garden hose my music stopped. In the four seconds it took the music to return I had questioned everything. #OccamWho

Nepo gem-miner of an apartheid wants more people in the mines.

She watchin’ ya. Glad you made it out alive.

Anyone else have the feeling there are a few tiny dogs and pickle lids on his “enemies list”?

As do cowards and bigots.

Wait, did we get a trippple tautology score?