rye

I 🫶🏻 chai lattes

The fantasy genre is so great. I love it. It has endless possibilities like dragons, sky islands, flying whales, and affordable living

Need some more odd games to record gameplays on

Never let the murderous and bloodthirsty call themselves “pro life” again

I hate depression man. It sucks so much.

Are Sunday scaries even scarier tonight or is it just me?

Attended the first day/meeting of my mini writers workshop tonight and I already adore it so much 😭🤍 can't wait to see what comes out of this experience

Now let's beat procrastination and really get into videography and video editing 😤

I like new tech and cameras :333

any money I spend will return to me 🌱✨️✨️

I'm so sad, a few weeks ago just recorded myself talking about the struggles of socializing being an introvert and my camera was recording in slow-mo and no sound is playing :( man I really enjoyed my convo with myself and now idk what to do. 😭

Thank God it's not peak horrible and today's the first day since Wednesday night that I don't have a sore throat and feel fairly okay. But gotdamn being sick suckssss

Got that (post nasal) drip 😎 (I'm suffering pls help)

This has really served as my only actual public domain that I've been treating like an open diary 😹 kinda fun

I'm also a pretty sensitive thinker, so tbh maybe it's just me and how I'm interpreting it rather than what was intended. I can't help but feel a little weird or meh about it occasionally though

But it doesn't always feel the best when you're going back and forth with someone trying to decipher what they're looking for, what I have that they need, and when trying to clarify they confuse me more. Or I misunderstand, then my boss is involved and talking to me not getting what I don't get

And that's where my insecurities come in because I feel annoying, inadequate and silly. I feel like I'm missing something or my brain isn't computing something "correctly." And when they get others involved to explain to me what's needed, I feel embarrassed. Maybe that's silly of me

But double checking eases my brain and allows me even better access to complete certain tasks especially when there's a lot of information involved. Or a lot of steps in the process. Many people want overly quick, the Flash speed results and sufficiency but not everyone's brain works in turbospeed

I can do it for sure but sometimes it takes me time. Sometimes I need to double check certain things juuuuust to be sure and it surprises me how it appears that many do not like that. They don't like being asked more than once what their specific wants are.

Also random side note but I hate when some people (at my job) make me feel inadequate or dumb. It's usually indirectly and I doubt it's done purposefully but it's still.... bothersome. This could stem from my own insecurities regarding my smarts or ability to adequately complete tasks

Lowkey this should be my 2025 motto

But anything good and worthwhile takes time! (And effort) and practice!

This is not me not wanting to put in effort. I'm just anxious and severely adore my alone time whilst also trying to get better at connecting with others.

Or I'm in a busy place for a fun event or art market and then magic glowy lighting casts a warm hue over my future friend(s) and I can be like ah. There you are. Nice to meet you

Like how come my future group of friends of few pals can't just. Magically drop in front of me like magic raindrops and then we just become best friends

Can't believe meeting new people and making new friends means I have to actually put myself out there even when I'm nervous, encourage myself to be a little more social and understand that all that comes with practice...

Each day, we get closer to feeling more like ourselves.

Also, Last note~ at least speaking for myself but maybe few others too, happiness is not the end goal, it's part of the journey just like anger, sadness, nostalgia, worry, joy, hope, fear. The end goal is clarity and stability. Fulfillment. Love, of many forms and complexities. Understanding <3

Ultimately, this whole yap-thread is just to say that life is a constant re-learning about yourself, interests, roles, wants, desires, non-wants, etc. You learn something new every other day about yourself. You deserve love. You're wanted. Yes you will, yes you can. Take a breath, try again. ♡♡