If You're Driving Close Your Eyes

9/11 Never Forget Special 2 | If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes we forgot

We forgot to do our 9/11 Never Forget special but it's up now! We revisit some of our favorite bits from the last year shows.acast.com/eyes/episode...

Please don't tell anyone how merritt lives, breakfast-wise patreon.com/ifyouredriving

Which appliance sounds drive you completely insane like John in this week's episode?

patreon.com/ifyouredriving

CloneFL | If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes ⚠️ COWS ⚠️

what if when you died you got a killcam of the person or thing that got you and before you could wonder what it meant or if there really was an afterlife the lights just went out forever shows.acast.com/eyes/episode...

CloneFL | If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes ⚠️ COWS ⚠️

this week, we invent a new sports league to test the impact of nature vs nurture. welcome to the CloneFL shows.acast.com/eyes/episode...

peetah. peetah its me. your wife, lois. dont you remember me? peetah

greg

hearing word that it's "the sand eating competition." carry on

The Sand Eating Competition | If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes Keep your fork!

happy monday! our new episode is called "the sand eating contest" and we're digging into the controversial commercial that's dividing America. you know, the one about cutting up a burger into slices shows.acast.com/eyes/episode...

a number of crimes have been committed throughout history

nintendo direct voice: a new garfield is on its way

uhhh. it does something. definitely. dont worry about it

rocks can be food. if you are a rock man

Get more from If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes on Patreon creating podcasts

MORNING, TRUCKERS!

We've revamped our Patreon to make it much simpler to ride the highways with us.

patreon.com/ifyouredriving

$1/$5/$10 and that's it!

Details of each tier are on our membership page. We hope you enjoyed gimmick month as much as we did! The Great White Off 2025 drops on Monday!

what manner of beast be this

you have montasnas in america dont you

all orbs are spheres. but not all spheres are orbs

what would you do if jeff was

Get more from If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes on Patreon creating podcasts

MORNING, TRUCKERS!

We've revamped our Patreon to make it much simpler to ride the highways with us.

patreon.com/ifyouredriving

$1/$5/$10 and that's it!

Details of each tier are on our membership page. We hope you enjoyed gimmick month as much as we did! The Great White Off 2025 drops on Monday!

We welcomed LB back to the show for a Fond FarewelLB and they got John to say this almost immediately

patreon.com/ifyouredriving

merritt Saw the Creature | If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes would you like to be attacked by jaws from jaws?

merritt saw the creature

shows.acast.com/eyes/episode...

merritt Saw the Creature | If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes would you like to be attacked by jaws from jaws?

this week on @ifyouredriving.bsky.social, I See The Creature Everywhere. Who Is He. Please Explain The Creature To Me shows.acast.com/eyes/episode...

Please listen to @ifyouredriving.bsky.social so you can understand why the phrase "is that the creature?" will be in my brain forever from now on

Listen to @ifyouredriving.bsky.social because it contains moments of pure genius like @nikigrayson.com’s off the dome plot summary of The Picture of Dorian Gray. You can hear when I realize I need to lock into this explanation.

Get more from If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes on Patreon creating podcasts

i havent had a podcast in nearly four years. if you missed hearing me, good news: i'm now a regular host of If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes w/ my old Fanbyte colleagues @nikigrayson.com & @floppyadult.com. new eps every monday, plus weekly bonus eps for patreon subs www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

Discord post from LB Hunktears that reads: "Dear Truckers, In September of 2020, I became a cohost of a podcast called West Coast Office Hours in spite of never having listened to it and not knowing what it was about. That decision changed my life, permanently damaged my brain's language centers, and gave me many many hours of delight. I have loved making this podcast in all of its iterations so much, and am incredibly proud of the work I have done with John, Niki, and Jordo "The Sticks" The Sticks. But I am a Sleepy American, with limited time and limited creative energy, and have determined that I would like to spend that creative energy on my writing. So I have made the difficult decision to leave If You're Driving. The podcast will continue, and I will enter the rotation of guest hosts for those inevitable trips to the ISS that always come up. merritt k has been on this ride with us from the beginning, first in her capacity as Podcast Czar of Fanbyte, then as our first and most frequent guest once we struck out on our own. She is one of my oldest friends and my writing partner in making games for sickos. My hosting seat, whether it's a Civic infested by imaginary rats or just an extremely broken chair, could not be in better hands than hers. I want to thank John, Niki, and Jordo for being so understanding and cool about my decision, and such great friends to me. I want to thank merritt for helping the podcast continue its life. And lastly I want to thank all of you: the discerning listeners who have made this whole thing possible. I can't express how much it's meant to me over these last 4.5 years to have so much support for me being my dumbest and most unhinged self. See you on the open road, LB Hunktears"

Important update from @hunktears.online and the show itself 🐊🚗

If you're not in the @ifyouredriving.bsky.social Patreon you're really missing out www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

Ahh!! It's Not Hot!!! | If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes doctors say you shouldn't spend so much time in the bathroom

this week on @ifyouredriving.bsky.social we talk more than you might expect about the dungeon of doom shows.acast.com/eyes/episode...

Some folks in the @ifyouredriving.bsky.social Discord suggested “Avatar 4: Grohm Jabar“ to be one of the best starting episodes of the show and now that I’ve listened to it again I agree.

if more people knew about @ifyouredriving.bsky.social it would be the #1 podcast in the world (it still is)