Auggie 5000

Took me most of my life to realize that things are only illegal if someone will arrest you

they couldn't have booed just a LITTLE harder???? 💔

Costco is already a pain in the ass to go to. This Target boycott is about to make it worse

DMX’s biggest hit has one of the most questionable lines in hip hop history. No one dared tell that man “pause”. To this day lol

I can’t believe Kris Kross came out the gate trying to start beef with Another Bad Creation

Idk if you’re referring to Twitter or not but I muted him a long time ago and the mute stands. I’m definitely not advocating going back there but if you do, mute is a good tool.

At some point you learn that being good at life is learning how to balance grief. Grief builds on you over time it’s inevitable.

The world was a better place when Carlos Slim was the wealthiest person

So I’m banned from Twitter and TikTok tonight lol

You’re gonna make mistakes as a parent but always trying your best is what’s gonna make that even out.

If you add enough water to a small amount of beer it will just all be water at some point. Keep adding water.

The magas have ruined my birthday forever

Anybody ever seen a single that had a B-side of a completely different artist?

Being a dad- coolest challenge ever

Feels so good

“Oh you’re Auggie 5000??? I’ve been listening to you since I was a little kid!”

Real convo at Taberna rn

Who is someone fun I should follow? I made the mistake of following a few starter packs of serious ass accounts

Love Kendrick using that old SWV instrumental/hook while mimicking Nas

I don’t make the rules, Kendrick is Beyonce now

I should have known Khaled wasn’t shit when he was all in the Arab Money video

I know that I’m 40 years late on this but I’m going to start making TikTok content. I need a niche- taking suggestions!

Sounds like it was worth the wait! (Sorry you had to wait that long)

So you’re saying he’s Thanos

My dad stopped being a fan when Charlie Scott was traded. Never came back

Cool. She was third place among democrats in your state. That means in her best effort, among her peers no less, she couldn’t even win a state.

That ref is the uvalde police dept

All due respect to her, 74 million people voted against Trump. She was wildly unpopular in an actual primary.

Oso pun

“News influencer” is insane- there’s almost no hope for the future of reporting