aureostriata

bisexual axl rose be like welcome to the grungle

I love it when my friends tell me about their OCs and lore. "Look, I made a guy. This is why he can't ever find peace. Here's his dick"

Ugh I'm 40 -remembers vincent vineyard sauce and jeremy are 40- okay actually that's -remembers I look like a teenager- FUCK

What

I got a really nice jacket I am a handsome young man

1st panel: hi can i get a (T voice crack) chicken mcgriddle "Ya drive up" 2nd panel: two gays sitting in silence 3rd panel: Nephil: cHicKeN mCGridDLe Koepek: SHUT

drive thru

there should be a type of emotion that feels good

change your mindset comparison chart funny with sil and tama

🚬Muhehehe😈

Kraft Dinner, Pepsi, Mcdonalds fries, and Pringles with ESRB ratings on them

I had a dream last night that the ESRB started putting age ratings on food.

soups and sandwiches are a kind of technology

I'm fine but jfc I want to crawl into a hole lol

Fuck

Ummmm

It was bogos. You dumb bitch

People think the highest Michelin rating is 3 stars, but there is a hidden 4th level where the Michelin Man comes and kills everyone at your restaurant and mixes your ashes in tire rubber. Then he exalts you by wearing you around his waist for all eternity

what the fuck is an AI agent, and before you tell me we should probably kill one

I would, RESPECTFULLY, chase you down in the woods like a feral fucking freak and bite the fucking shit out of you, ＲＥＳＰＥＣＴＦＵＬＬＹ,

I'm drunk but not drunk enough to answer that in public 🙂‍↕️👍

The normal one. Don't worry about it

Are you telling me that man with the cowboy hat and go kart FUCKS???

-looks up my neighborhood on the pervert website- "oh my god.... my neighbors are perverts"

Who up binting they botos

[GREY ALIEN, SCURRYING ON ALL FOURS]

GUY A: jesus fuckinh christ what is that thing

GUY B: That's my boyfriend, you bigot. Never seen a twink before?

[GREY ALIEN BITES GUY A'S ANKLES]

When my ex got mildly inconvenienced, she would go "oh Gordon Bennett!" as an expletive

My bro literally started playing it days ago it's soooo good

My free trial period on a very nice relationship is not getting renewed for the full version and I've been trying to deal with it like yeah. Ok. But like. I still have really big feelings 🥹 I don't know what to do with them lol

I Want It

Hey, stop being so sweet and nice and funny and handsome if you don't want me to be in love with you, dummy. Just kidding please please never stop doing that stuff fucker