Brandon Campbell

The worst part about modern America and living near the school where your children attend is when you hear a cacophony of emergency vehicle sirens going by.

My first thought is always “man I hope nothing is going down at the school”.

you know who else came from chicago and was on "a mission from god"

Adam Schefter White smoke: A new Pope has been selected. He soon will appear at the central window of St. Peter's Basilica. now

I love that I learned a new Pope was elected from Adam Schefter.

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5 in a row. #GWWWWWardians!

#Guardians

MLB.tv Baseball Zen during commercials is cute and all but the infield watering one is making me have to pee.

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1 in a row! #GWardians

I won’t rest until I make that a thing #Guardians

Couldn’t reply directly for some reason but my feeling on any children working for a parent’s business is that they should be at the very least compensated and subject to any and all labor laws.

Yeah but what if family influencers were required to compensate the children? Would that be a bad thing? They’re being exploited as it is.

Movies you’ve watched more than 6 times using only gifs.

Unfortunately MapQuest’s White House Press Credentials have been revoked. No longer will they have access to press pool events.

[IKEA-themed restaurant]

Maître-d: is your table ready yet?

I’ll shake my fist at the clouds every year until we get the Rick Springfield and Night Ranger double bill we all want.

don't feel so good, must be something I ate

Me: was just thinking about our vacation to the all-inclusive resort last—
Gov’t: TOO WOKE! Erase it from your brain.

Brian Driscoll, the acting director of the FBI, sporting curly hair, a kinda rakish jazz dirtbag moustache and beard combo, a faintly amused look in his eyes and a wry "whaddaya gonna do" smirk

I've got to say, the guy who accidentally became the Director of the FBI does 100% look like the guy who accidentally becomes the Director of the FBI in a mid-2000s comedy about a guy who accidentally becomes the Director of the FBI

TFW when you want a snack and choose an orange over chocolate because it's the healthier and more sensible choice and also there is no chocolate in the house

Family planning attorney: So what would you like done with your remains after cremation?
Me: I would like my eldest son to LeBron James them.
Son: Wait, you want me to—
Me: Yes

Family planning attorney: So what would you like done with your remains after cremation?
Me: I would like my eldest son to LeBron James them.
Son: Wait, you want me to—
Me: Yes

If you’re worried about what you’re about to say getting leaked maybe pause for a moment and think about why that is.

School: Great news! We’re holding an information session for a Europe trip and have over 150 RSVPs!

Also School: What if we held the meeting in a room that fits 75 comfortably?

His internal monologue finishes the sentence with “…to eat”.

i.imgflip.com/9hzw1b.jpg

Wasn’t the same without you. I barely had any bourbon but apparently I’m now notorious for not hating Malort.

I'm speaking at CodeMash 2025. Make your native iOS apps accessible to everyone. Friday, January 17, 2025 at 12:15pm. Sandusky, Ohio, United States. Brandon Campbell.

I'll be speaking tomorrow @codemash.bsky.social on Native iOS Accessibility. Come check it out at 12:15pm in Salon H. #CodeMash

Jeff Goldblum just looking sexy in Jurassic Park

Sometimes when I’m feeling down about that state of humanity I think back to the time I saw the Cleveland Orchestra perform the soundtrack to Jurassic Park live along with the movie and the crowd erupted in applause when this scene was shown and my faith is restored.

If I’ve learned one thing from the OSU/UM game it’s that Gus Johnson is just not a fan of flag planting

Massive shout out to the woman sitting at the Detroit Lions football game wearing the Cleveland Guardians hat, Indiana Pacers shirt, and jamming out to whatever was playing through her AirPods.

CBS jamming commercials in during injuries and substitutions in the #NWSL finals broadcast is gross. Be better CBS.

Felt bad. Did nobody want to walk in with Mike? Your friend circle really does get smaller as you get older.

I hope Tyson comes out to Living in America by James Brown.