Hazel

"Sorry, but we're having trouble parsing the text provided on your 3 forms of government issued ID which we also had you transcribe into a web form. We're gonna have to ask you to spell it out on the phone too because fuck you. C'mon, 'Hazel'. Let's hear it. We wanna hear what Hazel sounds like."

kiss me hold me tell me you love me DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME please

justintimberlakeitsgonnabemay.webm

Perchance.

Okay, but which kind of sneezer are you?

a) "psssht"
b) "RAAAAAA HOO!"

I wish I could see myself the way 25 year old trans girls with borderline personality disorder see me

They made me produce my lOnG fOrM bIrTh CeRtiFiCaTe omg I got Obama'd

SOOO GOOD!!!1

This is exactly what my brain sounded like in March too. Also internet search history: "boobs get bigger when".

Showing results for m̲a̲l̲e̲f̲a̲i̲l̲i̲n̲g̲.

This but Undertale.

detroit techno transsexuals will own the future

👆🏻

👆🏻

yes

Realising I'm already feeling too conspicuous, and I'm not even wearing the whole outfit yet.

Hot girls offset the phase of the LFO that modulates their LPF so the wubs are on beat.

If a stripper gets her heels from SHEIN, should you still tip?

Expectation vs reality. No one would look me in the eye. Anyway, happy Easter.

🎂

I poured my heart out, and now everyone knows I'm rotten to my core.

Tonight's rumination.

1. I must do more to help the people around me.
2. I know how I can help. I will act on this.
3. I didn't help and everyone hates me.
4. I shouldn't care whether anyone hates me, as this implies the motive of being likable, not helpful.
5. Wanting to be liked is selfish.

So. Needy. Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me you love me. Tell me I'm not annoying. Please. Ugh. I'm sorry. Please though?

"I should get started on dinner", I think to myself as I open the fridge door. VHS scan lines obscure my vision and my hearing dissolves into white noise. I come to on the kitchen floor. The fridge is raised up on a jack and I'm holding a spanner. I'm... fixing the fridge? What the hell happened?

So there I was, minding my own business*

*𝘕𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘏𝘢𝘻𝘦𝘭'𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦'𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘤 of 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺.

My belief in the rejuvenating effects of stewing in one's own sweat and oil is very important to me right now.

Collage of photos illustrating the stages of unboxing a shipment of underwear from tcomfifits.com. The outer box is white with a print of a red ribbon tied in a bow. This box opens to reveal a smaller box that has a double opening at the top, which is held closed by a cardboard sleeve which has perforations making the letter "T". The inner box opens to reveal 3 neatly folded pairs of underwear.

Tcomfifits has impeccable box design. The product itself is nice, yes, but this packaging... 😍

Icecream is emotional narcan.

We rebranded a while ago now. This is a predominantly boob oriented platform now.

The late notice on this is so fucked.

Days without ugly crying: 0