GUINNESS

THANK YOU!

I ALSO HUNT BUGS AND GHOSTS 😸

Guinness the black cat flying flat on his side in a hallway, clearly unable to get up and come inside.

WHEN YOUR HUMAN SAYS IT’S TIME TO GO IN BUT GRAVITY HAS SUDDENLY AND MYSTERIOUSLY INCREASED UPON YOU

TOO COSY

CAN'T REACH THE CAMERA

WHAT TIME IS IT???

WHY, IT’S COSY O’CLOCK!!!!

IT IS HOW I PARTAKE OF FESTIVE CHEER

CORRECT

YOU MAY BE ASKING, “GUINNESS, CAN YOU BE TRUSTED ALONE WITH ARTIFICIAL GREENERY?”

AND THE ANSWER IS NO.

THIS IS SO VERY TRUE

OH BOY ‘TIS TIME FOR ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HOLIDAY TRADITIONS

I TRY TO EAT THE DECORATIONS

AND MY HUMAN STOPS ME FROM EATING THE DECORATIONS

HOW JOLLY WE ARE 😸

YES AND KISSES ON MY LITTLE HEAD

Guinness the black cat sitting by his cardboard box, a black sock on the floor before him. He looks very proud.

BEHOLD

THE APEX PREDATOR HAS HUNTED A SOCK

NOT NEARLY ENOUGH GUINNESS TREATS FOR GUINNESS, HONESTLY 😿

ALREADY READY FOR THE WEEKEND

NO NO DECADENCE IS NOW CALLED **GUINNESS**

BECAUSE I AM SO DECADENT

Guinness the black cat sprawled luxuriously (and somewhat defiantly) on a grey and white blanket. He stares directly as the camera, daring someone to call him on his coziness.

DECADENCE THY NAME IS ME,

GUINNESS

WELL, MY HUMAN, THEY SAY, THAT GUINNESS’S HEART GREW THREE SIZES THAT DAY

MY HUMAN SAYS OUR HOUSE IS TOO SMALL FOR TWO CATS 😿

an elderly man is sitting in a chair and talking to someone . ALT: an elderly man is sitting in a chair and talking to someone .

ME:

Guinness the black cat watches kittens on an iPad set up on the floor

MY HUMAN SHOWED ME KITTENS ON A SCREEN

I FOUND MY HEART STRANGELY WARMED

HOW PECULIAR

I GOT A TUBE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ORDER IS IMPORTANT, YES

YELLING - TOO MANY BIG FEELINGS, GOTTA LET THEM OUT

SQUEAKING - OKAY NOW PAY ATTENTION TO ME

PURRING - ATTENTION RECEIVED, ALL IS WELL WITH THE WORLD AGAIN

TRILLING - OKAY NOW LET ME EVERYTHING YOU MISSED AND ALSO DON’T LEAVE AGAIN

MY HUMAN WAS AWAY AGAIN AND THEN THEY CAME BACK

I HAVE YELLED, SQUEAKED, PURRED, AND TRILLED 💖

ABSOLUTELY

Distinguished portrait of Guinness the black cat looking slightly past the camera

Distinguished portrait of Guinness the black cat looking slightly upwards in a 3/4 profile shot

Distinguished portrait of Guinness the black cat looking directly at the camera, his eyes slightly narrowed in a cat’s contented “hey, I feel like slow blinking” expression

FELT CUTE

*AM* CUTE

THIS IS THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT BOXES

HIGHLY RECOMMEND

EYES IN DARKNESS IN A BAG 👀

WORKS FOR ME 😸

Guinness the black cat lies in a large cardboard box, only his head poking out.

WHEN LIFE IS HARD

I GO IN A BOX

THE NEIGHBOUR HUMAN FED ME AND PLAYED WITH ME AND THAT WAS VERY NICE

BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME AS *MY* HUMAN