Hypatia Trentalange ☭

You’ve been through a lot, Bun. We’re all enduring what we can, and the world is heavy, it would be insane not to feel that. Don’t apologize for being honest, or for hurting. Don’t let the scorn of others for your pain silence you. Cause that’s what I do to me.

I am but a particle in the wave.

Nobody is saying cis womens discomfort "doesnt matter"

Nobody is saying that a cis woman "should be forced" to do anything.

Reasonable people will recognise that the burden of that discomfort and the legacy of that trauma should not result in the exclusion of an entirely innocent 3rd party...

1/

#worm

a picture of a worm with the words me no i 'm just a worm on it ALT: a picture of a worm with the words me no i 'm just a worm on it

23/10. We are hostages to our worms. Because we think we are us, we think we are the pilot, it is all the more revolting and horrifying to discover the truth. Behind the me behind the eyes, behind the heart and the pain and the bones - there's a worm.

22. This consciousness no longer desires to terminate, but it fears this worm. It steers me, and I steer the hands and eyes. Also in my head is literally another hemisphere that rarely talks with the thinking typing half, but I suspect it too feels this way, as it too is but a tool to our worm.

21/10 And when, at 29, I tried to exsanguinate, it restricted blood vessels and heightened fear & pain response to impede the intentional trauma. It fought back.

a cartoon character with the words oh right the poison the poison for kuzco ALT: a cartoon character with the words oh right the poison the poison for kuzco

20/10 But when i poisoned myself at 16, the worm slowed down my digestion, hours later vomited some of the pills, and partially shut down my kidneys, all to prevent my liver fail-processing 40 grams of paracetamol into fatal levels of NAPQI

My personality and beliefs are a blueprint a worm cooked up to hope to help the survival of worms outside myself.
When i thought i was bad for the tribe, or never be accepted or loved, my brain rejected this worm's survival imperative, thinking it was holding back the survival of other worms.

a rainbow sea otter with the words oh the hue-manatee ALT: a rainbow sea otter with the words oh the hue-manatee

Hunters and farmers were variant specializations. Carpenters and kings. Altruistic and and anti-social (itself a strange phenomena of worms rejecting the technology that is society, a solitary, isolative strategy). So every shaman, soldier, and serial killer were evolved for worms: survival tactics.

a cartoon character says have you the brainworms ! ALT: a cartoon character says have you the brainworms !

Adaptation within the species: worm tactics and specializations, perhaps once competing strategies now turned symbiotic. All mentalities facets of survival tactics. Warlike, thoughtful, kind, depressed. All of these worm-brain-consciousness adaptations to handle complex environmental struggle

16. Trigger warning: self harm
BTW being skinny and being fat are both worm adaptations. I feel bad about being fat a lot, it was very much not on purpose, but it's just a thing this worm is doing. Skinny = agility, muscly = physical functions, fat = chemically enduring, like for famines, stress.

a cartoon drawing of a man 's head with a loading bar in front of a green board with math equations ALT: a cartoon drawing of a man 's head with a loading bar in front of a green board with math equations

15/10 So we see souls and love and hate in the eyes of our fellow rational being. Because *we*, us consciousnesses, are not the worms.
We're just their operating systems. The new advanced and self aware processing chips.
Designed to most optimally care for and protect.
Worms.

How could a worm thing deign to imagine itself as something other, something greater? When we look at a person we see a face and a soul, we don't look at the mouth much because by the time our thoughts were forming and brains taking things in they'd moved beyond and never processed their status.

Every time i pet this cat or feed that pigeon. That rabbit's digestive system is the worm it was built around to protect, and that the wolf now devours for its own worm.

Surviving because that's basically all a worm is evolutionarily programmed to do. Imagine - all of our aspirations big and small are for our survival, individual or collective. Love was an adaptation to reward and foster reproduction and social safety.

11/10 When we breathe, that's the worm flexing for oxygen to fuel muscles It eats an apple and turns it into material to combust with oxygen. Every stomach cramp was the worm struggling, every food we loved and every poison we threw up were the worm trying to digest the world around it and survive

Every tender kiss, fear, every theory, every philosophy? Every bomb and every bandage; every neoliberal imperialist policy and every radical collective resistance. Every human thing. Every wolf howls at the moon, and every rabbit the wolf devours - in that rabbit, a tract that runs from mouth to end

9/10 All of this world we built and imagined: worm food, or worm castings. Society - worms. Civilization - worms. 10,000 years of agriculture, cities, wars and religion. Harnessing fire, traveling to the moon; every kindness, and every crime.

8/10 We are, all 8+ billion of us, an anomalous glitch produced in a nervous system that was itself formed to process complex environmental systems and behavior. The brain was a control mechanism to help the worm eat and not get eaten. And our consciousness is but a small quirk...

7/10 Do you think our brains and nervous systems are any different than our fingers or immune systems?
Name an animal. Did you pick a mammal, reptile, bird, or fish? Worms. Arthropods, mollusks, vertebrates and invertebrates. Name a person. Worm.

6/10 Of course, evolution being what it was, it didn't stop there. The worms evolved complex and competitive mechanisms - fins, eyes, spines and limbs. But at the heart of it, the animal is a tube that wriggles and takes in food. Everything else is window dressing and weapon upgrades.

5/10 Now, worm isn't really a taxonomic label, but you can see it right? Nematodes. Sea cucumbers? Coral worms. How about jellyfish?

4/10 500-600 million years ago, before and during the Cambrian explosion, evolution shocked the ecosphere with new battle tactics in the form of mobile heterotrophic multicellular monstrosities called animals.

3/10 Being in the minority of minorities, being the last fractions of humaneity wanting to see the world progress and become peaceful and kinder. But you know what eats that for breakfast? Worms.

I used to think the worst fate was being the last Neanderthals stuck on a rock full of homo sapiens. Like the last bonobos trapped in a valley full of chimpanzees. The last compassionate, kind and humane beings, surrounded on all sides by swaths of neuro-*Typicals*...

Want to hear a crazy scary story? Sitting on the fence of sanity, I can't get rid of a thought. *POTENTIAL COGNITOHAZARD*
We're all worms.
We don't think we are. We think we're beings of thought, creatures of rationale, or creations of gods merciful and wise. But we're worms. 1/10

I honestly haven’t noticed much from prog yet. Been 6 months? Although I did have big mood swings around the time I started it (and same month I did orchi). Still not sure what I should be looking for, maybe I’m not taking it right.

Corgis have an extremely low center of gravity and the density of a dead star.

PERFECT for skateboarding! 😇

Ow

Ow theonion.com/ow/