Amber

Poppy’s new album is out today so nobody bother me for the rest of the morning

I didn’t have “strongly agreeing with a Kirsty Allsopp take” on my 2026 bingo card but here we are

No Thomas I have not 🤨

Poor excuse. It’s blowing a gale here and chucking it down and I guarantee there’s a man within a half mile radius wearing shorts outdoors

Have you packed your shorts?

In other news, I’m following a lot of lovely people who post quite heavily about politics (hello!!) - which is fab but I need a bit of balance on my feed - pls send your fave pages about memes or dogs or heavy metal to soothe me x

Literally just saw a newspaper article from A Well Known Newspaper say that we should essentially leave X alone on the undressing children with AI stuff, but instead crack down on people shouting at Rowling, and now I want to pour bleach onto my brain

I wouldn’t trust you with fireworks, you’d accidentally start The Great Fire of London 2: Electric Boogaloo

A painting of a bird beside the text "fuck"

An accurate artist’s impression

Thank you!!!

Also am following everyone back because my feed is a non-existent mess and I need to know how to work this damn app x

I’ll drip feed chaotic stories - follow me for more x

It absolutely is - it’s been a classic secret menu item for YEARS

I saw a dog today who did the biggest piss I’ve ever seen. Covered all four paws and started running down the street like a river. Absolutely incredible stuff

How do I work this thing??
As Cher once said - “Can any one C me??”

You’ve never heard of a McGangBang??? Genuine real question. Fuck me I need to study your profile here before the next time we meet up cos this is GOLD

HAHAHAHA

Also this is the first thing I’ve actually posted on this platform. Vibes

Thought maybe I should use this more but how much does one actually use this… YOU HAVE 13000 POSTS? Hun

PS this is relevant cos I was also in the pub