Jared Friedman 🇺🇦

"Start?"

He's Fidelmaxxing. He's jefegooning.

Why is it always the most precious candyasses making these dumbass arguments?

Not any more!!

The ability to pour five pounds of ready-to-use garlic cloves out of a container, rather than extract them one by one from eight pounds of papery garlic heads, is one of the great wonders of modern industry.

Then again, one very very rarely needs five pounds of ready-to-use garlic cloves.

Ironically, if Schumer had stayed the course on the principled and aggressive criticism of Netanyahu that he immediately abandoned in the face of disingenuous right wing bullshit, the Dems as a whole would likely be more pro-Israel than they are now.

Let's also not lose sight of the fact that this race science appears to be the work product of noted ephebophile Assadist Richard Medhurst.

This is why Mark Kelly is a terrible presidential candidate. Just a fundamentally unserious man.

DeMeritt. Yes really. My mother's beloved godparents' last name. Nobody bothered to think about any other implications.

Silence of the Lambs. Watched way too young, it scared me more than anything I'd ever seen, and to this day even little clips of it creep me out.

I loathed Kids, because the characters were almost exactly my age (a year or two older) and that scene was one I was in, and I knew those kids had complex inner lives, while what the movie showed was just surface.

That said, best theme song of the 90s, maybe of all time.

That was the first time I ever projectile-cried.

I literally had to turn it off halfway through. Never finished it. I retain visceral memories of much it disturbed me... (checks notes) 28 years ago.

That's dedication! And news we can use!

I do not want to see what that drive-through line looks like though.

This is a public safety issue.

April is coming!!

Everyone's favorite character from "Cats" though.

Boston pizza intensifies...

You mean we should pick it up, pick it up, pick it up again?

They also loathe the spirit of cheerful international competition within a system of rules agreed upon by all parties.

What's your pick for best tacos in the Bronx?

Leadership. Who could've imagined it?

Choice of supermarket, it turns out.

What is an "industrial-grade" bomb?

These people are so fucking stupid.

Maybe the ethical use of Skynet is to instantly obliterate anyone who types the words "buccal fat" into anything other than a medical or dental journal.

Costco cheese pizza. Is it good pizza? No. No, it is not. Is it an immediate injection of delirious pleasure into the soul? Yes.

"If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well
It were done quickly"

It does. Poetry of a sort.

O/T, putting the space in "ass hole" makes it far nastier than "asshole," and I'm not quite sure why.