You’re My Lil Moo Deng

This is not really a brag. I procrastinate all week so I end up with a big list on Fridays and then get stressed but also am on fire

Man, no one is productive as me on half day Fridays. I get so much shit done.

Hemophilia is the funniest and bitchiest named disease. “Oh these people just loooove blood”

lol wow ok when that tranexamic acid wears off 😳

(Give MN is a big charitable donation thing today in Minnesota)

Join Me in Supporting Abortion Care Network TODAY! Did you know that independent abortion clinics (Indies) perform 3/5 of the abortion procedures in the U.S.? All providers are vital, but meaningful access to abortion care depends on Indies and they n...

fyi to anyone interested in donating to the abortion care network, which worka across the country, there is a matching grant for donations today!
www.givemn.org/organization...

I’d like a little more information, M.

Pardon me?

That’s only one bowl of chips and dip a year. Not worth it To be a snake tbh

*plan a wedding

I use “Hand signed” over Wet. No one ever listens to me tho so maybe I should start saying moist to get their attention.

This is equally as funny and horrifying as when I was ribbing my aeronautical engineer brother about a recent plane crash and he replied very seriously “things happen”

Thing happen.

Wow she did it

Sometimes I’m worried she could be more comfy

Is it bad when you reach your screen time limit for the day before 9 am

Ugh I absolutely crushed these

Bbv put a sticker on my butt 😂

There’s a 4 year old boy at the park wearing a Batman shirt and cape. I just love tiny children

Sitting alone in my house watching my favorite tennis player on tv in bed and eating walleye. Pretty good Friday morning.

I get the best ads, exhibit 18

I am Patrick Star but doing mental calculus

I created a little problem on accident and then create more and more problems trying to fix it. I’m such a dumass. But I am also so smart and ow I understand exactly how the system works and no one in the world could be as good as me.

But is it better than sex with a pumpkin, Kathleen?

“It’s a butt”

counting down to the big day

Sad desk lunch: structural failure edition

Luv 2 almost t bone a guy running a red light. Dudes lucky i have the reaction speed of a cat (and a brand new car with brand new brakes because my last car go totaled in a hot and run while parked)

Happy fall of the Berlin Wall to you!

I love a Sunday morning sausage