schrodinger's catboy

cum alter

🔮 make the mechs plural and make them fuck u cowards

heyyyy i know it says no cis guys but do you make exceptions?

oh ok just wondering

im non binary btw

#狂聡

once again reiterating the truth

(rihanna voice) im smashing taters up in here all night uh huh

me: can you ferment my meats?

server: you know, you’re gonna get botulism from that. how did you even get a dead raccoon into the restaurant?

me, confused, lifting a putrefying lump of fur and gristle: please. My ferments.

Say Hello to the Sun!
#votv #fanart

Are you... are you part of the *homo-sexual underground*?

they should make a toilet that shits back

Pilot: welcome aboard

Fighter pilot: [right hook]

Korbin the werewolf in biped form sticks his muzzle into someone’s gigantic dickhole. He’s panting and huffing and it’s implied he was eagerly licking it. Hyper cock or small wolf? The choice is yours

Rub his nose in it, then he’ll learn

#hyper

the mise en place for my chili recipe includes: -onions -garlic -a big ole hunk of chuck roast -cumin -chili powder -dry kidney beans (currently soaking) -chicken stock -whole canned tomatoes -tomato paste -yuengling

ladies, gentlemen, and enbies of bluesky: it’s chili time.

"I wouldn't buy green bananas if I were you" is going to live in my brain for years

bisexual axl rose be like welcome to the grungle

Drake Maye

LeBron

Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan

There's this guy on Instagram whose whole thing is making phot edits to make people look like miniatures, and I'm obsessed.

Orange cat standing on a white desk on top of a mechanical keyboard

Come on, Donnie, I jus cleaned that

i don’t mean to get political but what the fuck is football

if he's YOUR man why is he fucking ME on the couch in my mind palace?..

졸리면 가서 자, 욘석아!

i want a chain restaurant steak so bad

single tissue voter. i came in it and dropped it off at the ballot box

inventing an insanely annoying guy that says “superb owl” and stuff but also LOVES football. “ooh! a sportsball is on!” etc. i really hate his ass SO much

the squirt locker. is that anything?

all foods do. you're just not listening

nudli 🥹💖