*At Heaven’s Gate*

“Show me your Darth Vader socks and you’re in.”

I’m looking for a polyamorous relationship with a doctor, CPA, and masseuse.

I shall only be photographed with sports team mascots.

Productivity is up since I got everyone dancing during our meetings.

There’s thunder in your heart.
Every move is like lightning.

I made my first million drawing sensual Pokémon.

When is too much not enough?

It scares me to think that you could probably find a job where you get paid by the fart.

I’m getting a 40+ workout group together called the Shoulder Pops.

Govt would have had all Disney apps removed from the App Store if they didn’t comply.

I’m gonna make my own vaccines

I loved this film way too much as a 10 year old.

I was still looking for a restaurant that offers a pile of food.

My Body Type = not worth a cannibal’s time

Are hotdogs violence in its most savory form?

Dating tip:
What’s her arm hair situation like?

Sink is clogged

I’m not sure what the fuss is all about. Looks harmless to me.

I’m actively building a time machine so I prevent the song “Stayin Alive” from ever being made.

I can already tell this day will require three drinks and a change of underwear

For less than the cost of 100 million cups of coffee, I can build a giant mechacat.

Stakes are getting high
I raise…

I’ve eaten three sexy cakes. Am I sexy yet?

I found Waldo with another woman.

Let’s get high and donate to a food bank.
Who’s with me?

I’m going to laugh a new crypto currency called Unstable Coin.

Pizza will fix us.

“This next part of the presentation is critical”
“Here I’m shaving with a 5 blade shaver”
“I use a Trader Joes shaving cream. It’s unisex but works better than anything”
“I finish-up with a lukewarm rinse and an alum block”
“If you understand this process, you will do well”

First name Murphy,
Last name It’s You

It’s glorious!