Curtis

rare body oils @lowbeetle.bsky.social TREBEK: Emerging just before the Feast of the Midnight Eye, this colossal horror was none too popular among valleymen, who trembled one-and-all beneath the vantage of its encroaching silhouette. ME: what is bone dragon of Malaas-Hso TREBEK: Malaas-Hso, yes, a scar unmending. Less than a minute to go Nov 6, 2023 at 1:59 PM

Nuke @megab00f shazaming the siren song with one hand steering ashore with the other

GOD: good luck smoking in the rain, u son of a bitch...

ME: (putting hand over the lighter)

GOD: (melting) nnnnNOOOO!! my one weakness!!!!

me in my 20s: it’s saturday night! time to go get drunk and party!!!
me in my 40s: ah, saturday night. time to enjoy an evening with my family and perhaps enjoy a drink or two
me in my 8470s: huh. i think i might be god
me in my 98580s: yep i’m god for sure

they're doing this to me on monday

rare body oils • 6d @lowbeetle.bsky.social TREBEK: Emerging just before the Feast of the Midnight Eye, this colossal horror was none too popular among valleymen, who trembled one-and-all beneath the vantage of its encroaching silhouette. ME: what is bone dragon of Malaas-Hso TREBEK: Malaas-Hso, yes, a scar unmending. Less than a minute to go Nov 6, 2023 at 1:59 PM

Tom Scott at the real life 2Forts

"rich dipshit owner doesn't understand the industry he's bought into and clumsily destroys what made it good" feels less like a narrative unique to the washington post and more like the music that's been playing in the background of all our lives for at least 40 years

silly looking dog sitting on a big pillow sticking his tongue out

her: are you stupid?

me:

Fred the movie poster

After a smash hit at the box office, the movie industry is now taking YouTubers seriously. Maybe these online stars are the new A-list celebrities?

wint @dril lets see if that Awful Groundhog can predict six weeks of Electro House blaring directly into its shity cage 11:24 AM • 2011-02-02

telling my adorable daughter i'm not putting the drawing she made on the fridge because it's toddlerslop

Everyone at the party was hyped when I showed up and it felt good but later I found out the bene gesserit had already been here for thousands of years seeding the myth of the “crazy ass white boy “

Ben Terris @bterris X.com "[My father] had one problem," Trump said. " He started getting, what do they call it?" He pointed to his forehead and looked to his press secretary for the word that escaped him. "Alzheimer's," Leavitt said. "Like an Alzheimer's thing," Trump said. "Well, I don't have it."

very tall bart @TallBart Joker: I'm smoking that GAS Batman 😈🚬 Batman (tied to a chair): Joker no those are stems. You're smoking mids Joker Joker: Uh ohhh Batman... I'm rinsing out my grinder 😈🚿 Batman: Nooo the kief [thrashes against restraints] 10:52 AM • 7/26/22

Sign that says “beef petty - $3”

Most of you bitches tbh

Every once in a while, I check my son's Steam reviews.

i looked too quickly and thought she was looking at a picture of a shark hitting a vape

Netflix and collapse onto the bed at the end of another long day of work, unable to live and yet unable to die

lust-cait of the gutters @chaeronaea ME, watching the olympic ice dancing: this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. this is the pinnacle of human achievement. i am weeping ANNOUNCER: this pathetic worm held her arm kind of weird on the landing. she has shamed her country and family ME: oh. okay 2/10/18, 10:46 PM

hate to tell u this player but the black hand has marked u for death

bbc news story about a 3rd shark attack in 2 days at “popular swimming spot Shark Beach”

cool name why’s it called that

he’s right

Happy dog standing by big plate glass with two hippos behind them. The dog and hippo are both smiling and the dog has a hippo plush hat on

Best day ever!

math textbook covers for some reason:

replace rfk jr with this guy