07.11.2025 19:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
20.10.2025 12:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
11.09.2025 12:19 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
28.07.2025 03:40 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Why did she stop there? Could’ve added raisins.
28.07.2025 03:24 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I just watched my sister in law eat tacos with ketchup and wash it down with a glass of milk.
I’m done.
I, for one, am going to embrace the end times.
28.07.2025 01:03 — 👍 51 🔁 8 💬 8 📌 0
24.07.2025 19:22 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I just shit so big I had to check if I was two people.
21.07.2025 20:44 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
“WHO WANTS TO SCREAM AND FUCK?!?!?!?”
-cicadas
17.07.2025 01:24 — 👍 97 🔁 25 💬 8 📌 3
Not enough whimsy
27.06.2025 01:22 — 👍 73 🔁 19 💬 10 📌 1
Yes, I have a pair. “These are my fuck pants”.
26.06.2025 00:43 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I’ll take two!
23.06.2025 22:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Being kind of a big deal is exhausting
19.06.2025 12:50 — 👍 127 🔁 27 💬 8 📌 2
Do you cook it like it gets cooked on a pizza? We probably have very different ideas of what nachos are. Even where I’m at nachos are made differently from one person to another.
16.06.2025 18:38 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
On nachos? I’m intrigued.
16.06.2025 18:21 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Dis me
15.06.2025 02:41 — 👍 72 🔁 13 💬 4 📌 0
All this civil unrest better not fuck up Toyota-Thon.
10.06.2025 15:47 — 👍 411 🔁 107 💬 16 📌 4
Easiest way to declare a state of emergency is to create the emergency.
09.06.2025 18:34 — 👍 763 🔁 182 💬 12 📌 12
Chicken coop!
10.06.2025 04:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I hate in shows where they say shit like “oh, I’ve got desert for you at home 😉”
If I got home and dessert was sex and not cake, I’d be fucking irate.
12.05.2025 05:41 — 👍 48 🔁 7 💬 0 📌 1
My Barbie Dream House would have a craft room AND a sex dungeon.
19.05.2025 21:13 — 👍 103 🔁 38 💬 8 📌 1
Got called a sad sack of shit today, which has inspired me to work extra hard in therapy to be a happy sack of shit.
29.05.2025 01:46 — 👍 341 🔁 64 💬 13 📌 0
It… 😅
21.05.2025 15:02 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I made a banana bread so perfect that Paul Hollywood would not only shake my hand, he’d also go down on me.
19.05.2025 22:15 — 👍 36 🔁 5 💬 3 📌 1
14.05.2025 20:56 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
It’s too early for this shit.
09.05.2025 13:26 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
It’s only 8:25 in the morning and I’ve already said “I bet Gary Busey going down on you would probably feel like face fucking a horse”.
09.05.2025 13:24 — 👍 10 🔁 3 💬 3 📌 0
Battleshits!!!!
06.05.2025 15:29 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
He leaves the flavor savor on.
03.05.2025 15:57 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Stares in Smoot-Hawley.
01.04.2025 20:01 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
They/them, 30, Canberra, Australia
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