Saying que rico to myself at work

How wonderful to take a nap

So wonderful.

Please don’t complain.

Please don’t complain.

Lol

why is latin not on google translate? are they stupid?

Lol

Sneezing on my stainless steel pan to see if it’s ready

I was chopping garlic and i was like why does this garlic smell like a fart but then i remembered i farted like 30 seconds before i started chopping it . Good morning everyone

Honestly guys i ride for some of the symptoms of sociopaths . I don’t care if that lady put me on five different mute lists

Looking at the google earth pics of this random polish town and a bunch of the pics are just this fat little girl posing in front of different buildings

Explaining to HR that I’ve fucked my way up to the top exactly 8 times and I had no reason to believe this time would be any different

Telling my male mom friend that my subtweets are about a different male mom friend

guys i just want to give you a piece of pussy

Guys im sorry i keep asking you to bust it open

Vassily Maximov, Who is There?, 1879

Are we going to hit pens?

Ok

Im so bored

Yesssss. Smoke a blunt my seesta!!!!

I didn’t know temples had to sit in front of a computer. Noted

Maybe you could take steroids and do alot of cocaine

its fucked up but i think it might have been . No hate

I think this is a good idea. you will get a lot of tail.

This is why i mail people my poop.

I would have sex with anybody. I would have sex with a kangaroo

Out of spite