DaveTDuck

4:45 am view across the lake.

Good morning….

It started with a quiche.

Ahem!

Good luck playing someone called Chastity and thinking she's going to score.

Train delayed due to fig leaves on the line.

Make sure there's more than 20 in the sack, because that shallot.

And the Norse god of slipper chewing, if I'm not mistaken.

Watching an episode of Digging for Britain with @profaliceroberts.bsky.social. Must be disappointing for archiologists to dig in Leicester and not come back with a king.
"Yes, boss, we found some coins and pots....no, no Kings....yes, we've checked the car park".

It's now the 'recently found, hang on it was round here a minute ago' valley

Dear BBC. Thanks for the interesting piece on the King's message to the British base in Antarctica on the breakfast show this morning. Just one thing is that I'm pretty sure the aurora you referenced and showed weren't the northern lights.

How big is the carp park?

I don't know much about farming but your sheep dog has got things under control.

However long I live, I'll swear that the name Hazell Dean sounds like an industrial estate off the M6.

LOVABLE rogues, if you please.

The men did the same thing with Coxs. No idea what kind of apple they used.

Stoned Penge

The Wembley groundsman is only going to be repairing one half of the pitch after the cup final 1st half.

That is clearly hanging from something and designed for a quick get away. He makes his killer statement, crouches slightly and turns 180 degrees while his hat stays suspended. He then exits stage left.

I'm surprised you can tell from so far down the table.

Jake the Peg is on? We live in forgiving times.

I think that's just called 'ending up south of the river'.

Remember. If it does happen and anyone asks why you're limping, just shrug your shoulders and say 'A rugby injury' and change the subject.

I have it on good authority, that Dame Judi is more a 'packet of pork scratchings and a half pint of best bitter' girl than shelled pistachios, but OK.

Or I may have just made that up, I'm never sure.

I assume that the KFC ads are included in this?

It's OK, I've got the sticking things up your nose angle covered. Should be home from A&E anytime now.

StormPanthers. Is that a kind of Sharknado?

It's great that Tunnock's Teacakes get to sponsor the parachutes.

You can call it what you like, world. It will always be the Milk Cup to me.

Or your dog is doing some light dusting and hoovering when you're not at home.

Erm.....