Jolene

I am not a trophy wife by any means but I could probably earn a sweet participation ribbon by telling you bad puns and outlandish stories that I heard on a podcast once

Fans will hate me for this but I think it's fine that HBO isn't renewing Sesame Street. There's really nowhere else for these character arcs to go and the gratuitous nudity feels half hearted at this point

I got this for Christmas about 10 years ago and still use it everyday. By far has been the best kitchen appliance we’ve ever bought.

Nothing activates my fight or flight response like an afternoon at female chaos stores like TJ Maxx and Homegoods.

I’ve got a really good feeling about this bad decision.

As someone who has long covid… Faaahk. But damn if that isn’t an excellent shitpost @eve6.bsky.social 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

If you bought 10,000 maniacs in 1992 it would be worth 1,000,000 maniacs today

hello 911, yeah the cuffs on my sweatshirt got a little wet when i was washing my hands

Cillian Murphy in 28 Years Later looking dead and emaciated

My houseplants watching me pour water in the coffee maker

Followed all! Some funny folks on here!

Aww Cisco, you really are our Jolly Saint Shit. Thanks for all the joy. 🌈🫶

Me: I will just relax for a few minutes by playing a mindless game on my phone

Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble

My fav thing about the shitposting community is how much we support each other. I love all of you 🥰

That’s the attitude Crane! Love it! 💖

You can’t tell me to make ‘myself at home’ and then get weirded out if I take off my pants and cry in the kitchen. That’s not how that works.

📌

*looking through my followers list

Suspects. All of them….

Kids today have no idea how easy they have it. I was forced to spend the greater part of my youth as a TV antenna.

a man and a woman are standing next to each other and the man is covering his face with his hand . Alt: a man and a woman are standing next to each other and the man is covering his face with his hand .

Oooh act like is a good one. I’m Emma Stone.

a slice of toast is sticking out of a toaster with a blue knife Alt: a slice of toast is sticking out of a toaster with a blue knife rubbing butter on itself.

Apologies but I had to.

Julianne Moore

Post someone you've been told you look like, but you don't.

Seriously do it. I need to make sure all my followers are hot.

I didn’t know @nappydolemite.bsky.social owned a gas station.

First sexy Alf and now this?