Keith Foster

YouTube adverts keep trying to sell me AI girlfriends like I don’t already have a collection of balloons with a smiley face drawn on.

Cover of my recent book: INTO THE GROOVE: The 1980s: The Ultimate Decade in Music History By me, Justin Lewis (@whenisbirths.bsky.social) 'An epic compendium of stories and trivia from the 80s music scene'

My 80s pop history book, #IntoTheGroove:
'...tells pop's never-ending story brilliantly.' DAVID QUANTICK
'Like a treasure chest of pop riches.' SAMIRA AHMED
'It reminded me of how much I loved the 1980s.' GIDEON COE
'A delightful, curious compendium.' JUDE ROGERS
eandtbooks.com/books/into-t...

“You are reading my Christmas Day email to a convicted child rapist asking when his next child rape party on peado island is in very bad faith”

It's so grotesquely and pathetically apt that even in his damning Epstein emails Elon Musk just reeks overwhelmingly and unmistakably of that vacuous desperation for acceptance and approval. What on this Earth could be more risible than "please, please invite me to your child abuse party island"

MOURNERS. Read the dress code instructions on funeral invitations very carefully. Sombre, whilst being only 2 letters away from sombrero, is a world apart in tone.

A very happy, strawberry-flavoured birthday to the brilliant @christinamartin.bsky.social, who wrote my favourite Viz letter of all time.

I left the couple of local Facebook groups I was in during Covid because they had become unbearable. People I thought were alright turned out to be awful.

33 years ago today, after ingesting the river water at Duff Gardens, Lisa Simpson became the Lizard Queen. “Selma's Choice” first aired on Fox on January 21, 1993.

Yeah, if the whole point of a new play is to be 'anti-woke' then it's not, as the publisher claims, all about artistic merit, and it is by definition political.

People who believe the free market is always right don't like it when that goes against them and things they deem "woke" are genuinely popular. This is especially galling for them when the thing in question is a West End play, an expensive event for most people, therefore a very deliberate choice.

Isn't that just Stephen Miller?

He didn't ask if I knew a specific Darren. Just "Do you know someone called Darren?" It was the early 1990s and I was still at school. Of course I knew someone called Darren.

When I was 16 an old guy on the bus home told me that his daughter went out with a boy who looked just like me but that was in the 60s so it probably wasn't me and anyway, he didn't look all that much like me. Then he asked if I knew someone called Darren. He made more sense than Trump.

Genuinely the type of incoherent drivel that used to be the sole preserve of shambling fuck-ups on the last bus home from Kirkcaldy.

I've heard more about Brooklyn Beckham today than I have since the day we found out he couldn't photograph an elephant.

So, I'm 50 now.

Honestly, it's as if the FIFA Peace Prize means nothing to some people.

Luke Littler may have won back-to-back world titles but he'll never know what it's like to be reassured by Tony Green.

This does seem just a little bit bad! Idk the sort of thing you’d think politicians might distance themselves from or something!

Remember when comedians defended taking Saudi money by saying they were opening a dialogue? Any danger of that starting yet?

On the subject of Stranger Things, Finn Wolfhard has spoken about being followed home and hassled outside hotels by adults when he was 13/14. A lot of these adults tried to shame him online for snubbing fans without once acknowledging that they had essentially stalked a child.

Nine elms station

Jump Into 2026

I love the secret feature at Nine Elms London Underground station that reveals itself during a sunny day.

If you arrive at the perfect moment, the roundel logo is beautifully projected onto the floor.

So I took Dancer Andreya with me to interact with the scene.

Very much all of this.
The many Brits bashing the capital are very useful idiots for overseas efforts to undermine the country imho.
As I've said before, it's time to push back at the nonsense

3 panel comic Panel 1: Purple Guy leaning on a shovel standing next to a snow sculpture that says “Edgy Comedy” Panel 2: Sun comes out from behind clouds Panel 3: The snow melts, revealing a stone sculpture that says “The weakest shit I have ever written”

edgy

Whenever you experience imposter syndrome, remember that the person who came up with 'Merry SkySportsmas' probably makes a decent wage.

‘Image shows serving suggestion’. I’ll take my sausage roll with more sausage rolls

Billy Connolly big banana feet/banana mural in Anderston, Glasgow.

Billy Connolly mural in Anderston, Glasgow.

Went to see some Billy Connolly related public art in Anderston, Glasgow yesterday.

Czechoslovakian poster for Jaws.

If you've been watching Jaws on BBC2 and are wondering what the Czechoslovakian poster for it looked like, now you know.

(Photo taken by me at 'Identita: The Story of Czech Graphic Design' at the Czech Centre, London)

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and commiserations to those whose bin calendar is slightly less straightforward this week.