Marissa

Husband: "Let's watch Emesis Blue while you nurse the baby. I hear it's really good."

Me and the baby a half hour in because we didn't realize it was a horror film:

Growing up is realizing they just used preemie baby sounds for Ghasts in Minecraft

The little caterpillar made her debut a bit early 💕

*clicking a YouTube video from a creator I've never watched before*

"Are you gonna be annoying"

THANK YOU VIRTUOUS FOR MY MATERNITY LEAVE TIME SINK

So if I was playing it back in 2009 do I need to call a funeral home or

Local news

Feed a pilgrim a Funky Fanabla and that mf will keel over on the spot from spontaneous organ failure

I have seven weeks until I can have sandwiches and sushi again and I really don't think I can wait that long I'm going feral I want an Italian sub and sashimi

Local news

Local news

Won't be dunking on the Legends announcement too hard because I did that with Arceus and I regret it.

That said - what is that starter line up????

THREE MIDROLL ADS IM GOOGLING THE CEO RIGHT NOW

I love paying for services that still shows me ads

Yeah I'm just gonna put it out there. This plane crash situation is screwed up. I was a figure skater who traveled like that as a kid and seeing all those happy faces in pictures knowing they're gone is really hard to process. They died through no fault of their own but circumstance. It's so awful.

I've collected these memes over just the past 48 hours this world is a simulation

Husband: *telling me about the history and firepower of a Dutch battle cruiser*

Me: haha look at these snails with disco balls as their shells

So pretty!

I'm gonna be real there's some creators more upset about TikTok shutting down than a loved one dying and it's like.... Guys c'mon.

Gorgeous! Where is this?

Can I put the Switch 2 on my registry and say it's for my kid

The way you live in this person's head rent free 💕

To anyone who doesn't know what this means, this post title must look fucking insane

I love fully voiced mods in Skyrim like sir you sound great but I can hear the whole room behind you

Idk what adult needs to hear this but there's such a thing as crappy toothbrushes. If you change your toothbrush to something new and you're like "wow this toothbrush is so much better" then you were using a shit ass toothbrush

She will never understand the horrors of capitalism

Guess whos the dumb fuck who forgot to buy wrapping paper and gift boxes for Christmas gifts and now has to brave the world of Target to get some

And they'll name the family dog like Harold or something

this bitch in my mom group naming her kid Orange and honestly nothing is sacred anymore