open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱

the writers are getting entirely too cheeky this season

Pokemon invented Urshifu to beat the parryslop accusations

I just looked up this kid rock guy and he's like 50 something

you cannot be kid rock and be 50 something

get a job, pay taxes, you must be adult rock

nobody has done this joke before me I'm certain

The most awkward thing was trying to explain to my Gen Z ass EMT what a George Costanza is

Last night I felt like maybe we were cursing ourselves with some kind of inauspicious action, so I told my partner we needed to do the opposite of whatever our instinct was at any given time, and I got 7 hours of sleep

Attention For security reasons doors are locked Please use your swipe key/card for entry or push call button on the right wall to speak with staff for entry Thank you

trying to come up with other reasons why the doors would be locked such that this warrants explanation

hell, same

London bridge is falling down? And you're singing?

you gotta take your shirt off while you play because that would make that roast fall flat

okay there's only one guy allowed to use the "CEO of Antifa" username now and it's this guy

this post came to me in a dream I cannot be held responsible

*rising with the other monks* namo thato breado getto

why are you, an adult, still suppressing your vital winds by drinking cold water???

Desire realm my ass, this world of suffering leaves a lot to be desired if you ask me

can't believe they made this poor kid fly himself back home too smh my head

why Vanderbilt in particular? No idea. Did the dream follow the actual rules of basketball? Also no idea.

had a dream wherein as an immortal cultivator I descended to the mortal realm to play basketball for Vanderbilt as part of a bet and I just know this is a manga or TV series or something already

in 500 years, if anyone is still alive, they'll probably know about Trump, but nobody will know about the humble forum owner who banned hentai and indirectly launched all of this

it's Thursday, January 29th. a 23 year old DoJ intern is typing into ChatGPT "generate website code for an adult website age verification widget"

okay I actually had to check this but lmao, after clicking no a little widget says 'access denied' but I then immediately clicked yes and it said 'verified' and let me in, lol, lmao

this was 100% vibescoded by a Claude agent

it's Tuesday, February 3rd, 2026. a 15 year old boy in Oklahoma is lying directly to the DOJ about his age in order to get to their online porn stash.

man I gotta find out when this is and make sure I take vacation

I was coincidentally on vacation during the military parade or whatever last year and it was great

you do *not* want to be an ambulance going in or out of the district during these kinds of shit shows

real Epstein heads do *not* want to find out what happens if you click "no"

holy shit I'm cackling

I don't choose the thoughts that happen to me, and I take some small comfort in this

thought one: there are going to be some really weird / extra twisted gooner challenges in the next few days

thought two: lmao I bet the doj website gets around most commercially available porn firewalls, this is the weirdest gift to repressed children of Christian extremists

seeing people upset that CBS has a new medical opinion guy who doesn't believe in germ theory but everyone who worked in healthcare during covid knows diseases come from miasma 😔

calling things "first world" but with sneering condescension

You know these guys feel like total badasses when they take a songbird out mid flight