Kerry

I don't believe any of you are carrying around bingo cards.

It is what it is, and that is nothing

As a society, we gotta go back to casting some people out into the wilderness.

I want to be haunted by places and things, not food or people.

You can easily drop everything and come pick me up

I bought you a sword please respond.

Ok who the fuck left all this jam in here unpumped

Friend: go big or go home
Me: home

happy birthday america, you fucking jackass

It’s ok to disagree on climate change, water over the bridge.

biblically accurate international space station

I’d much rather watch a concert with a little football game at intermission.

what i wouldnt give to be an alien zooming around the multiverse in cute little ufo

You ever just think about moss

However much water you’re drinking, it’s not enough. It will never be enough

I may not be the brightest crayon in the tool shed but at least I'm great at analogies.

I would like to vote for the reptilian shapeshifters now, please.

Don't forget to look up at the sky

Now, more than ever, aliens

If there's one thing I've learned about getting older it's that you shouldn't

All I ask of you is that we hate the same things. We’ll walk side-by-side, hating things

we should eat the government

“Your password cannot be that stupid one you always try to use.”

This January feels longer than a Phish song.

Is there some kind of spa treatment where I can be sanded right back down to the original wood grain?

The United States of Fuck This Shit.