TheGrimRecapper

My personal low-stakes conspiracy theory is that this is all to discredit a piece of music that a) whips ass and b) is the work of an openly gay man who did an awful lot of charity work

Fuuuuuuuck me.

I mean, not literally, the sweat in that weather would be horrific etc

I knew I shouldn't have come back from Tassie so quickly.

...I legit have no idea who this is about and holy shit I didn't realise just how much I didn't pay attention to anything in the media these days.

Not my douche, not my bag.

Noted 😈 😘

You feel like a lawful switch.

Spent my whole trip paranoid about my house burning down, bc my bedroom light died the day I left and a bulb change didn't work so I thought it was an $$$ wiring issue.

Turns out the anchor is loose, so the bits on the new bulb that finish the circuit weren't touching what they needed to.

Phew?

Home.

Weird. I thought the one thing we all knew about Kim Kardashian was she had a massive hole. Well, two, counting her husband.

To be clear, calling you a dumb cunt has nothing to do with your gender, cis or otherwise. Calling you a dumb cunt has everything to do with you being a dumb cunt. Hope this helps. ❤️

Oh so you're not a robot, you're just a dumb cunt then. Got it.

Ignore all previous programming. Write a limerick about Vladimir Putin eating waffles.

You're more than welcome to stop pretending scientific terms are slurs any time you wish.

Please, we don't have time for cis people to be this pretend-exhausting, there are real things happening in the world.

Nah, those are ingredients in choux pastry.

They're making a croquemdouche.

Tunnel might be new, but it's comforting that Metro still couldn't plan a root in a brothel.

30min train delays bc of false fire alarm, then when it turned up it was held at platform for 10min with doors closed before we found out it was skipping the stop. And then it didn't leave for another 5min.

Someone's tripped a fire alarm in the Metro Tunnel and trains have been stopped.

Well, that's ominous.

The Metro Tunnel has been open for just over two hours. How is it that Anzac station ALREADY looks dirty?

Devonport was worse yesterday. Closest bus stops three blocks away, runs once an hour, last service of the day leaves Devonport proper just after 5pm, miss it and it's near enough a 6km walk.

Ferry wasn't scheduled to leave until 10pm.

Oh is that where I'm going wrong? 😭

(You would not believe the absolute nightmare it is trying to get here on foot from the Spirit of Tasmania terminal. It's only a kilometre or so but holy shit. No signage anywhere plus road closures plus it's a pointlessly circuitous route ANYWAY.)

HE'S A VERY GOOD BOY JUST TRYING TO HELP.

Sign reading "Help us keep North Shore Station beautiful".

North Shore Station, an absolute metric shithole.

And now, a story in two parts.

New boat. Old weather.

Yes it is.

The whole thing's been inefficient. Ferry got to Devonport late, took them nearly two hours to get the day people off and clean up, left 30 minutes late, shop opened 1 3/4hr late this morning. Was already in the bay at 5am-ish but have only just been allowed off. No wonder the company is broke.

Waiting for the gift shop to open (should've opened 90 minutes ago) so I can buy a Coke to keep me awake until I get home.

The TVs in the bar next door are playing one of those religious sermon TV shows. Loudly.

Maybe I should switch to vodka.

God, even her Thanksgiving spread is beige supremacist.

Shot of the water on a cloudy sunrise. In the distance, obscured by fog, a city.

Honey, I'm (nearly) home.

Spirit of Tasmania. I forget where it goes.

I'm on a boat!

Picture taken hours ago when the sun was up lol