Jesse Maximum

👏🏻DEAD👏🏻MALL

👏🏻DEAD👏🏻MALL

👏🏻DEAD👏🏻MALL

I appreciate the layup! Wouldn’t have gotten here without you!

“Doesn’t deserve Uncle Kracker” is maybe the meanest thing I’ve ever heard. And 100% applicable here, the Don always deserves worse.

Gotcha, you ol’ bitch.

@maffewgregg.bsky.social

A paragraph from Wikipedia: Having only a single season of free circulation, the lake is monomictic, and water passes through Lago Huiñaimarca and flows out the single outlet at the Río Desaguadero, which then flows south through Bolivia to Lake Poopó. This only accounts for about 10% of the lake's water balance. Evapotranspiration, caused by strong winds and intense sunlight at high altitude, balances the remaining 90% of the water loss. Its waters are slightly brackish, with UNESCO reporting its salinity as ranging from 5.2-5.5 parts per 1000. It is nearly a closed lake. The words “Lake Poopó” are highlighted

I looked up Lake Titicaca, and you have got to be SHITTING me what do you mean its water flows down to Lake Poopo??

Also, fuck AI.

I’m a writer. Why wouldn’t I write it myself?

Don’t get me wrong, it would be a game changer to have enough money to be able to write more, but I think you’re misunderstanding the point of making art.

(The point of making art is making art.)

The late ‘90s were too strong. Our brains are always bracing for that Russo swerve.

He has genuine brown loafer energy.

Dan. You can take out the red lenses.

BBC News screenshot with the subtitle "Welcome to the year of the whores. People around the globe celebrate..."

Happy 12-year anniversary to my favourite broadcast subtitle mistake

And a happy year of the whores to you all

An iPhone wallpaper of Chuck Taylor being backdropped onto a ladder in the corner of the ring He is almost completely upside down

Me too.

An iPhone lock screen (wallpaper is Gar Fieldi eating lasagna) with a reminder that says: TIME SENSITIVE Boobshits Lake Today, 9:00 PM

It’s like 4 in the morning, the perfect time to share that I set a reminder in my phone to help me remember a joke I wanted to make about Lake Titicaca.

Too much time has passed and I combined those two albums in my head!

The Boy of Summer guy, Dog Hangly or something

There was a 15-second video of his contract signing back in the day, where he said something along the lines of:

I signed the thing-thing
Now I get the bling-bling
Every time I sing-sing

I wish I’d saved it.

He was signed to Rykodisc about twenty years ago, but unfortunately it didn’t last beyond one album that feels like a greatest hits and having “Why is the Sky Blue?” included on a compilation.

was *certain* that was Jar-Jar Binks memorabilia in the lower left

These rule. Goddamn.

Everybody could come by and sign the painting, you know, in the way a dog would sign it. Make it a community art project.

Zoom into the sign to see why I took this photo

I might have to make this a Botchamania ending.

I’m shocked that Uncle Kracker’s not already on the MAGA festival circuit!

Replace Hail to the Chief with the X-Factor music, it’s over.

You can get two tickets for the price of one, but unfortunately one ticket now costs the price of three.

At least Fap Fagroon sounds like some kind of a low-level thug in an old Batman comic!

*sigh*

Here comes Fap Foop.

I also had an artsier coworker who got me to the more indie theater to see Amelie and Memento first-run. I also saw Requiem for a Dream there with my girlfriend at the time. Maybe the worst drive home I’ve ever had.

My big one is probably seeing Office Space on opening weekend and seeing it take over public consciousness a few years later. Josie and the Pussycats, too.

But my personal flex is Pootie Tang three times even though it was only in the theater for five days. Shortest theatrical run I’ve ever seen.

She got wonky nips, but she alright.