Jet || Vent Account

Decided to up my calories to 2000 from 1200. My bmr is somewhere in the 1400s, i already burn 300 at work. Putting myself in such a large deficit is triggering my binge eating disorder to no end. Im now tracking the frequency of my binges.

Atp its not even wishing i was a cis man just ANY cis would be amazing at this point. Cis man, cis woman, cis gnc, anything 😢

Of course right as im starting to feel better in general i get hit with a wave of Wish I Was Cis

All these negative thoughts are eating me alive. I know its bc im doing a 48hr fast and im having a bad night at work already

I feel so gross and ugly, why ask to see my face if youre just gonna be rude and laugh about it

Ive been talking to this new guy and he hasnt talked to me in four days now and i see yhat hes active on discord. I want to ask if he's alright but i feel like at this point ill be a bother

Saw someone else call it dirty fasting so stealing that cause it doesnt feel like a proper liquid fast when im drinking matcha and soda and teas lol

Going to a con this weekend, not really cosplaying but im still dirty fasting for wednsday and thursday before the con

Granted in this pic i did have that leg rested on the other one so my calf looks extra massive lol but still

I think one of the hardest things about being me & having an ed is that i have to force myself to be realistic about weightloss. These are my calves, this isnt fat- its almost pure muscle. Im stocky. My legs & arms are muscular. The only petite i will ever be is short.

#lemonwatersky

The worst part about c/\lorie tr/\king for me is that all the apps swap to the next day at midnight. But my day is 6:30pm-11am 🙃 so i have to go back and keep filling in info for the 'previous day'

↳ dig’s #edsky #ventsky #drugsky intro ↰

⇢ born in ‘98, MDNI, 18+ only
⇢ BED turned restrictive
⇢ disordered since childhood
⇢ artist + creator of all kinds
⇢ stats in bio! hw 300 lbs
⇢ oldhead on disordered socials
⇢ always looking for 18+ moots!
fluctuatinglbs.straw.page

♡/↻ for mutuals!

Thats crazy cause even when im deep in mine im still going at least once a day (bar the time i ⭐️ved for 8 days)

Not to get my hopes up but this seems like a good app for the basic calorie counting (tho it does try and make you buy it)

Starting back up with 16 hour fasts will be the best option for me. Had i not just had a mouthful of rice i could have done a 22 hour fast

Manifesting my future

I lied im at about 1332 buuut take away 200cals cause thats ehat ive burned tonight im at 1132 :)

urple yrple burple spo 💜🔮✨ #th1nsp0 #caterpillarsky #lemonwatersky #ednotsheeran

I think after lunch ill be sitting around the 1200cals mark

Every time i update my weight it changes 😾

Welp, was throwing up for three hours then slept for like another three. Was fed some good ass ramen, then i took a surprise nap for another three hours, and now ive started another liquid fast

Good news, started a 24 liquid fast ✅
Bad news, i drink most of my calories ❌

My mental health is taking a nose dive again i feel like i have no stability and i keep taking hit after hit

I couldfucking kill himnincould fucking kill him incould fucking kill him j could fucking kill him i want this fucking bitch dead dead dead i want hum FUCKING DEAD

Bought the punpun manga finally. Cant really talk to anyone about it bc it contains sui, abuse and other things but yeah. Im really interested in reading it

Its kinda insulting to be told "i miss you" just to have EASY access to me and still not talk to me

How would one get to the ed side of tiktok 😗

Well i was gonna get McDonalds for lunch but its closed and blocked off with vans. Sooo no lunch

I wish i could follow a simple goddamn meal plan

First half of my night i burned 109 so im down to 1236 net cals