Fangz

Still waiting on the release of the Epstein files.

Happy (late) solstice!!

Happy Juneteenth!!

Looking to join you from Florida in a few years!!

The amount of times I’ve rechecked if I’ve paid a bill. I get it.

a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a window and says `` i am dead inside . '' Alt: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a window and says `` i am dead inside . ''

How I’m sure I’ll feel after working opening day.

Whyyyy is everything he’s on AUTOMATICALLY ADORABLE?!

It’s. Not. Fair!

My void of a heart ACHES!

A 3-part documentary series about Epic Universe, as well as the history of Universal Studios theme parks overall, will debut on Peacock Thursday, July 24.

Dear Canada-
Please accept our deepest apologies from all decent Americans embarrassed by the obnoxious trolling from our man-baby-in-chief who is lacking in both intelligence & any impulse-control whatsoever.

❤️ from your neighbors below, 🇺🇸

#MakeAmericaNormalAgain

I see no downsides here.

I’m in the ‘polishing’ part of a script I’ve been writing for the past year. And, once it’s done and sent to a publisher… I… dont know what to do with myself.

BODY: Sleep!
ME: I just need to write a few more pages.
THE BAGS UNDER MY EYES: You said that 4 hours ago.

Ew. The sun. And you loose a fuzzy lair?! Boooo!! Maybe send a henchmen instead?

Been reading a little mythology and it seems like one of the main cross-cultural themes is, “do not, under any circumstances, get on a boat.”

*peeks out of my coffin, glaring at you* Sir. Thats not my life support. Thats my heated blanket, thank you.
*yanks the cord back, plugs it in, and dramatically slams the lid closed*

I’m regrettably allergic to poutine gravy, but I’m more than willing to just eat the fries.
Thank you for understanding that none of us in America want this. We love our Canadian friends, and I look forward to rebuilding when this is all over. 🖤

@merriam-webster.com
The new restaurant I’m opening has gotten in the habit of sticking with a few words to describe dishes. ‘Well-balanced’, ‘fresh’, and ‘light’, are the top 3.
I’m thinking of buying a thesaurus to bring to work. What do you think?

Today, I was out among the humans. It was awful.
The recommended recovery? A book by a fireplace in a Victorian mansion.

We’re everywhere in Florida. And *surprise* we even wait your tables and run your rides.

Dads home. We can all relax.

Church can begin now. Don your 3D glasses so we can all sing ‘Muppet Hymn: 362.’

‘I see your true colors shining.’
The right people will like you for you. Be yourself. Your gorgeous, gothic self.
I’m always here for you, little bat. 🖤

Damn. I’m even more jealous of him now. Some of us have to put effort into our appearance, but I guess hes as flawless as he says he is.
…he’s too pretty to be a vampire. It’s not fair.

Zero effort in the morning? Absolutely. But, I’ll be damned if these curlers somehow arn’t a bitch to put in every night.
We can’t all be flawless like Lestat.

(We all know he wears a wig… right? I mean… it’s SO obvious… right?)

Stupid Lioncourt. Stupid curls.

The gods of Epic have delivered. And their harvest is bountiful. 🖤🖤

“Flesh decays. Bone endures. Flesh forgets and forgives ancient injuries. Bone heals, but always remembers.’ -Dr. Bill Bass, Anthropologist

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. We retain a lot more than we think. Be strong. And remember that I’m proud of you, little vamp.

Listen. The wall just out in front of me and I know you all saw it. I know didn’t. 👀

Damn. Just @ me next time.