Cricket Shea

My patents used to insist that the kids couldn’t access their phones while staying with my mom. I know her goal was to limit screen time for kids, but like, what does she expect to accomplish in a month when my kids have full screen access for the subsequent eleven? It’s just real silly.

Know how I know Taylor Swift isn’t a racist?

Kanye never called her one.

They've got about a year and a half to dispose of Usha, marry JD and Erika, and get Erika pregnant with a little white baby so he can run for president in 2028

It’s all very silly

It’s popular because people like it, and shock of all shocks, I am a people. lol

It feels very contrarian-culture where the only correct answer is never to be a fan of anything that’s popular or you’re somehow selling out.

Why is it weird that I’m interested in the Heard/Depp trial when those are two people I’m interested in and the trial was public?

People slag on parasocial relationships with celebrities and talk about how you shouldn’t be that invested in a strangers life……..but like……they’re the ones talking about their lives in public. Like Taylor swift lives publicly with her love life, why is it weird that I’m interested in it?

The mood for tonight

Isaac doesn’t deserve Nigel, and Nigel shouldn’t have to deal with a dramatic baby gay. Justice for Nigel!!!
#ghosts

If god can never make a mistake, then he would never have a regret about a decision he made, and yet he clearly and explicitly regrets making humans in Genesis, which precipitates the flood. Therefore, god can make mistakes.

I can solve people breaking traffic laws with one simple trick. Give people a points counter that goes up every time you do something correctly and goes down when you break the law. Vehicular crime will be solved in a week.

Look at me, constantly playing therapist to everyone in the goddamned house to make sure this place stays running. Sure wish someone would do that for me, but it’s ok, I’ll go crazy on my own time.

Better Off Ted

It’s nice to see someone pass doing what they love. Being a racist encouraging gun violence.

We need to make schnatzees more afraid to show their faces in public.

Tessa has Big Feelings about drag queens in schools. Because the drag queens are dangerous. How are they dangerous? Well, Tessa doesn’t know, but she knows that she is confused by drag queens and she is scared by drag queens, therefore she is assuming that children will be scared by them as well

This is the issue that so-called "protectors of free speech" get in trouble with, because when you have to figure out the exceptions to a constitutional right, you don't have that right anymore (yes, I'm aware we have restrictions on rights, that's not the point here, lol)

Apparently scanning your groceries at the self checkout like an actual cashier would scan them will get you a visit from loss management. Who knew.

I love it when I’m watching a movie or tv show and you see a montage of childhood pics of the character, and you know that actor had to call their mom to get those pics to the production crew and their mom was probably so thrilled, lol. Microdosing joy.

Elon Musk is like Littlefinger if Littlefinger was stupid

I didn't get a chance to watch the Kendrick Lamar halftime show, but I know it was amazing based purely off the numbers of angry white people I see on social media

I think we’re about a month, month and a half away from a Republican casually dropping a hard R on live tv

I’m fully done with managing the mental health of everyone in this house including my own. They can fuck off. Go to therapy, stop coming to me.

Had an issue this last weekend. I had a Plan. Thankfully I didn't go through with the Plan, but it absolutely existed. I still don't feel fully tethered to the earth yet.

You republicans who listen to Rage Against The Machine and think it’s about Dems running the government know that when your guys take over the government, THEY become the machine…..right? Like, you have to know that.

The “I can always tell” crowd can’t even recognize a schnatzee salute so you’ll forgive me if I don’t trust their judgment.

Good little christian family next door told me to never send any1 to their house looking for help because it was “very startling” even though I had warned them he was heading over. I’m so sorry that some1 asking for a few bucks was so starling to a good christian family who wants to help people lol

Christians are all willing to “they’re not a REAL christian” when talking about a liberal bishop, but apparently Donald trump is an exemplary form of Christianity