Jess Calabrese

Can we use AI one last time to remove Sean Combs’ coattail riding ass voice from EVERY FUCKING SONG he produced?

The CEO of Astronomer? You mean Carl Sagan??

Choirs are just gang vocals for the priest.

old Soviet joke for our times:

Guy stops by the newsstand every day, scans the front page, doesn’t buy the paper. One day the vendor asks what he’s up to.

Guy says: “looking for an obituary.”

Vendor says “those are towards the back of the paper, comrade.”

Guy says: “not the one I’m looking for.”

I come from a long line of cowards

Eaten away
An eroded tide line
An empty
chitinous
husk

So full of fear
Too soft for anything but deference
their only respite:
The Same

(some traditions are the rotting hands of your ancestors reaching up from hell to smother you)

I love
to break
tradition.

Seriously, creative folks: Don't be afraid to let people know your stuff is out there for them, or worry that "now is not the time for that." People are stressed and freaked out and looking for the things that will give them a moment of rest and joy. It is EXACTLY the time for what we do. Tell them.

One of my Top Five All-Time Favorite Movies. Music, chef’s kiss. Cast, chef’s kiss. Humor, chef’s kiss.

Dujour means love ❤️

*Unzips my skin suit so the two wolves inside me spill out*

Photo of Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde.

This is the face of courage and compassion. Thank you Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde for speaking truth to power on behalf of the marginalized.

It’s not the weight you carry

but how you carry it –
books, bricks, grief –
it’s all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it

when you cannot, and would not,
put it down

- Mary Oliver

False colour JWST NIRCam image of a nearby star forming region in front of a deep back ground of colorful galaxies. NASA, ESA, CSA, K. McQuinn (STScI), J. DePasquale (STScI)

Oh come ON now. This new JWST image is just ASTOUNDING.

I feel like I’m falling looking into it, and that I would fall forever, and that I would enjoy it.

NASA, ESA, CSA, K. McQuinn (STScI), J. DePasquale (STScI)

I just flew in from Chernobyl and boy are my arms legs

Sourdough is the IPA of bread in that:

a) it’s the only special thing on tap
b) I hate it

🕯️

Fake - AI generated.
The real Helix nebula is amassing as it is.

that's a lot of words to tell us he cant find the clit

If I needed as much hand-holding as some of my older, management-position-having coworkers, I would probably be fired.

I deal with this frustration poorly.

here’s a comic about ❤️being kind❤️

The Onion’s purchase of Infowars is a grand comedic gesture, with a wise guy from Massachusetts at the helm - The Boston Globe The acquisition is just the latest development at the 36-year-old satirical publication, which has been a rare bright spot this year in media.

Note to former self: Send a headshot to your hometown paper when they ask, or they will use the photos of you from when you were a 13 year old sports blogger as a very good bit.

www.bostonglobe.com/2024/11/15/b...

The planet Uranus on a black background. The planet appears blue with a large, white patch taking up the right half. The patch is whitest at the centre, then fades into blue as it expands from right to left. A thin outline of Uranus is also white. Around the planet is a system of nested rings. The outermost ring is the brightest while the innermost ring is the faintest. Unlike Saturn’s horizontal rings, the rings of Uranus are vertical and so they appear to surround the planet in an oval shape. There are 9 blueish white dots scattered around the rings.

High resolution image of a planet 3 billion km away and its rings.
Uranus by JWST.
🔭 🧪

The Onion Buys Alex Jones’s Infowars Out of Bankruptcy The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.

Hi everyone.

The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.

We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.

We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.

I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.

it's official — 1,000,000 people have joined Bluesky in just the last day!!!

welcome and thank you for being here 🥳

Linkin Park and Spiritbox in the same place?! Both 13-year-old me and 33-year-old me are PUMPED for this tour.

2016: Pokémon go
2024: Pokémon TCG Pocket

Conclusion: we only get new #Pokémon apps when DT is president elect. 🙃

Me: I have an executive dysfunction
Medical System: We have medication that can help!
Me: can I have some?
Medical System: Yeah. Just do all these executive tasks. Monthly. Or no helpful drugs for you. Also, you have to do them without the helpful drugs first.

Cool. Thanks for all the help.

YouTube video by The Breeders - Topic Oh!

The Breeders, 1990

One of my faves. Kim Deal forever.

Not night two of the tour in whole, just night two in Boston. I could have worded that better.

If you see this, post a concert photo you took.

twenty one pilots, Boston, MA - night two of the 2024 Clancy world tour