Govneh Jalapeno

Hard same, honestly. Need it in my face.

New identity just dropped

If I could easily get from N Durham to RTP and not have it take (checks maps) almost two hours, I'd be all over it!

she posts videos of them trying to get away from her on tiktok that are sped up yakety sax style and scored by norteno music, theyre hilarious

That's an amazing fun fact, how cool!

Last night I had Trex google Steven Tyler and then I had them google Julia Roberts and we laughed together and I think I've peaked as a parent

I accidentally trained my brain to kindly whisper "gender-affirming care" every time I see someone with plumper or botox or breast implants or hair plugs or big muscles and honestly, amazing results
Because we're all doing it, society just wants to paint one lil occurrence of it as "wrong"

Found bones and dead beetles.

In our seats for She Rides Shotgun!!! And the bathroom had complimentary mouthwash 😂

Jordan Harper on the Bittersweetness of Adapting His Own Novel into a Hollywood Film You can often tell when a crime-fiction author has read Jordan Harper’s She Rides Shotgun, which won the Edgar Award for Best Debut Novel in 2017. Mention the title, and chances are good they’ll st…

We've got @jordanharper.bsky.social by way of @nkolakowski.bsky.social and @crimereads.bsky.social !!!
Got kid and I tickets for the movie tonight, can't wait
crimereads.com/jordan-harpe...

I'm in if you can tell me while we hike or sport or move our bodies some way at the same time or I'll start redesigning my yard or getting mad over ancient slights instead accidentally

I need your favorite romance recommendation featuring older female protagonists. Not some gorgeous 20YO haplessly bumbling into love. I need women who have stories and scars and wrinkles and who know who they are, they're not just guessing and flailing

Overhead announcement just said unattended baggage will be removed by the Chicago police department and I'm trying to figure out where to best drop my parents issues and relationship hangups

Pretentious fucking airplane

I got a new tattoo and still have depression but maybe it was the wrong tattoo. I better try again.

So the spiders go away on August 11th is what I'm hearing

So there are repellents you can sprinkle around your doorways and places you want to keep him out of that last until it rains. Cat piss smell is *the worst*

I gave myself a tarot reading and if I'm interpreting it right, it says "You can't expect to date a man with fine tastes when you have that many spiderwebs in your hair every day."

This is Monty. If you're in the Raleigh or Durham area, he'll be available for adoption tomorrow. He's sweet, gentle, good with people and dogs. So mellow. If my own dog wasn't a psycho, I'd take him home myself. I can get the name of the rescue if you're interested!

I think my favorite thing about book recs is encountering books you may not have otherwise even known existed
How amazing is that?
Entire new universes just because someone said "I liked this, maybe you would, too."

Dear Tina,
I want to be upset that you give men my phone number, but I'm not. I got your back, girl.
Sincerely,
Gov

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is it too early to start decorating for halloween?

Maybe today, Satan.

I said this to a friend recently and they said I didn't have standards
But
Like
He's the most beautiful human
Kind
Reliable
Bettering himself
We don't need a Kronk. We *deserve* a Kronk.

Apparently there was a joke event in Peru where all the jockeys raced each other instead of their horses

@zhoney.bsky.social hey, this is Morgan! It was so good to get to chat with you this weekend. Good luck with the impending baby!!!

two women wearing sunglasses are drinking orange juice from large cups . ALT: two women wearing sunglasses are drinking orange juice from large cups .

@chuckwendig.bsky.social cherk! At a noir even in Greensboro NC and Damn Fine Story just got dropped as a writing rec