Jupin's Gems

Actor Buck Flower in Wishmaster, indeed missing his front teeth

"Also horror icon Buck Flower, noted for playing a drunk, homeless man in...everything. Those missing teeth at the front, that’s real."

-Wishmaster

"If you’re going to do a crossover, Death Wish with Chucky." (Chris)

"And you could mash up the titles of the two franchises, while confusing people - call it Child’s Wish. It’s a bunch of people going to the theatre thinking it’s some heartwarming Jesus shit."

-Child's Play (live)

"This gun’s got like a universal remote on it." (Steve)

"You can kill somebody AND reprogram your VCR at the same time."

-Predators

Tom Arnold with a pretty impressive mullet in Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

"He’s got a mullet to beat the band!"

"He looks like a fat horse!" (Steve)

"Tom Arnold stars as ‘Fat Horse,’ coming to CBS!"

"‘Butterbiscuit.’" (Chris)

-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr in Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

"They are credited in the end credits as ‘Mr. and Mrs. Tom Arnold.’" (Chris)

"Dude, do you think Tom Arnold demanded that?"

-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

"By the way, who’s familiar with our show on the internet?" (Steve)

"Yeah, we’ve been on the road for a lot of years. With the live shows, there’s a lot of ceremony behind it. This is me drinking out of a wine bottle directly while I’m not wearing pants."

-Witchboard (live)

Three white guys "rapping" to a girl in Teen Witch

"This is the first, of many, rap sequences. It’s like New Kids on the Block." (Steve)

"It’s repugnant. It is an affront to the genre of hip-hop. These three fucking Italian guys rapping in their Osh-Kosh B’Gosh overalls? Their backwards painter hats. These fucking dickheads."

-Teen Witch

"I would say you guys are all fluently-versed in The Purge-a-verse."

"I only saw Purge 2, so I’m still learning. I’m in Purge 201." (Eric)

"Oh, so you can do conversational Purge?"

"Yeah, I can ask, ‘Where’s the toilet?’ in Purge." (Eric)

"It’s in this movie."

-The Purge

YouTube video by Gangsta Rap & Hip-Hop Legends The Fat Boys feat. Freddy Krueger - Are You Ready for Freddy? (1988)

"Tell me he doesn’t kill the Fat Boys!" (Eric)

"No, I think they just run out of the house scared. ‘Twas diabetes that got the Fat Boys."

-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Frankenstein in the movie Monster Squad, with a very shitty, Ralph Wiggum-esque haircut

"They should take Frankenstein to the mall and he should get some cooler clothes. I also don’t appreciate the haircut this thing’s got - he’s got fucking Ralph Wiggum’s haircut."

-Monster Squad

A T9 phone from the early 2000s

"T9 texting…I’ll tell you something: We should have just waited until we didn’t need it anymore. ‘Well, if you want a v, you have to hit 8 three times.’"

-Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

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"'Some say I’M the San Francisco treat - take that Rice-a-Roni!'"

-Sulu in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

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"'Replicator, two quarts of whale semen, please.'" (Steve)

"‘Mr. Data, let’s make some whales this weekend - it’s my birthday!’"

-Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

"'They’re not answering the door - should we blow up the house?' - something I’ve said on non-consecutive Christmases."

-Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

"'There’s 78.6% of the Earth covered in clouds - you know, we need the sun to survive.' And the president is like, ‘I fucking know that, you idiot.’"

-Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Frank Thomas next to two women in a gym in a commercial for Nugenix

"He needs whatever Frank Thomas is pushing on those commercials." (Steve)

"Those commercials are great, because it’s a commercial for ‘Frank Thomas will steal your wife.’"

-Logan

Jonathan Majors wearing a very 1800s-inspired tuxedo at the Oscars

"Was Jonathan Majors’ suit tailored at all? He’s the best looking man in Hollywood, but that suit looked like a costume you would get directly off the Halloween rack." (Steve)

"He looks like he just came from assassinating Abraham Lincoln."

-On-Screen Live (3/13/23)

"You know, I’ve seen a lot of things go down in American diners. You know what I haven’t seen? A bunch of people gathered round to watch a snuff film."

-The Happening

"If I were married to fucking Mark Wahlberg, I’d screw a guy named Joey, too. Maybe it was Joey Pants!"

-The Happening

"I ate at that Uncle Moe’s - they know me by name." (Steve)

"‘Hey, it’s that fat guy again!’"

"‘It’s beloved vagrant Steve Sajdak!’" (Justin)

-The Happening

"In from the internet ticker: ‘No shirt at a 7-11 is pretty standard in Tampa, Florida.’ Well, I know where I can retire."

-WHM Mailbag (10/20)

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"This movie is about an old Japanese guy who grifts this Italian kid from Jersey into doing a bunch of house chores for him, and then he accidentally wins a karate tournament."

-The Karate Kid (live)

"I have a running theory that Amy Adams is the politest person in Hollywood. She could tell you to go fuck yourself to your face, and you’d be like, ‘That’s the nicest person!’"

-The Happening

Drew Brees in an ad for Wrangler jeans

"It’s less than Birdemic because at least Birdemic has shitty-looking birds. This has the breeze!"

"Drew Brees?" (Steve)

"Yes, the villain of this movie is Drew Brees."

-The Happening

"I got a great way to monetize cemeteries: get some vending machines out there."

-Stay Alive

"Khan gives him this approved reading list, and Hank goes, ‘Newsweek? Not in *this* house.’"

-Animation Damnation: King of the Hill

"He looks like a guy who listens to a lot of Jack Johnson, right?"

-I, Frankenstein

"This movie was filmed in Sydney." (Steve)

"Okay, so Australia allowed this to happen. That’s fine - we won’t hold it against them."

-I, Frankenstein

"We rented this movie at my house, and my dad walked in like, ‘What the fuck is this shit?!’ Because an adult can instantly perceive how insane and wrong this movie is."

-Mrs. Doubtfire

"This opens on a ‘Previously on the prequels…’" (Eric)

"You know what I realized? It turns out if you cut down all three prequels to five minutes, it’s awesome!"

-Obi-Pod Kenobi #1