Juliet Bennett Rylah

How are they going to make “Monster Mash” a movie? It’s obviously a mystery/thriller about whatever happened to the Transylvania Twist.

Oh, boy. Black Mirror isn’t even fun anymore because we live in Black Mirror.

Someone recently asked me when I got into reading/watching cannibal and vampire stuff and while I'm not entirely sure, I did spend my whole childhood doing a ritual every Sunday where we ate a dude and drank his blood so that was probably it.

As someone with a gut disorder caused by food poisoning that can be exacerbated by Covid, RFK Jr. is a nightmare and I will be taking any and all available vaccines, as should be my choice.

I made a Covid/flu vaccine appointment at a CVS inside a Target. Checked the box stating I had an underlying condition. Received vaccine without issue. So if you want one, I guess try that.

Oh, and if you’re gonna tell me vaccines are bad, ef off.

enshittification | noun | when a digital platform is made worse for users, in order to increase profits

As someone who bakes, I’m aware that there are usually dowels inside tiered cakes. So like… has anyone gouged their new spouse’s eye out smashing their face in a cake?

Any time I see some thing internet guy going on with glee about replacing human women with sex robots it’s like duh, you’ve been railing against cat ladies for years cuz you can’t even handle an animal that doesn’t do whatever you say. Take your horny Furby and leave!

Also, it’s so fucked how Americans associate not being able to drive with punishment. Downloaded the new Micro app and it suggested I download another app to achieve sobriety.
I don’t have a DUI, just born disabled, thanks!

Options:
- Sit at home alone, wait to die.
- Spend $40 on a 13-minute Lyft.
- Spend 2 hours on public transit, assuming it shows up.
- Walk, but know that if it’s dark and anyone murders you, there’ll be 800 Facebook comments about how you shouldn’t have been walking alone without a bazooka.

I think Millennials think they look young because growing up, 30+ adults were depicted as decrepit. We don’t look or feel that way, which is why people who look like a healthy 35 or 40 say they look 28.
Also confusing: 27-yos on TV playing high school sophomores.

One of my greatest peeves.

I just demo’d the latest iteration at a tech convention. I don’t quite have the $600 to drop on a pair yet.

Smart glasses may seem silly but as someone who lost my near vision following surgery, I tried these XReal glasses that plug into a computer and I think they would fix my posture. I am always hunched over just to see the screen clearly.

You’ll have to be more specific and less all CAPS for me to know what you mean. Some of the links are intentionally to other newsletters and most media outlets do ask you to subscribe, but I can try to help if you point me to one.

Me as a child: I wanna live in Star Wars.
Me as an adult: Not like this!

At this point, why not take our world’s 4th largest economy and leave? Everything has become so silly.

Trump preparing large-scale cancellation of federal funding for California, sources say | CNN Politics The Trump administration is preparing to cancel a large swath of federal funding to California, an effort which could begin as soon as Friday, according to multiple sources.

The Trump administration is preparing to cancel a large swath of federal funding for California, an effort which could begin as soon as Friday, according to multiple sources.

I love when two high agency males go at it, actually.

The chickens. They are roosting.

must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away

I love the Boss, but if a man told me “you ain’t a beauty, but, hey, you’re alright,” I simply would not get in his car.

The look of irritation on my face was so palpable that the bartender asked me if I needed to vent. I do not, but this is what I miss about bartending. No $22 craft cocktails, just pouring a beer or a whiskey and asking someone if they want to complain at me. I hope to bartend as an old lady someday.

I imagine that every morning in the White House begins with a performance of the “Gaston” song from BEAUTY & THE BEAST and no one is allowed to start work until it’s done.

Today I was reminded that I’d rather carry 30 pounds of groceries an extra mile than talk to men at Metro stations.

Recovering from a bisalp on Mother’s Day vibes.

This is so interesting. There was one of these dudes in a restaurant forum I was in cuz I used to do food writing and I found him INSUFFERABLE. Hmmm!

I find her physical comedy charming and I think she’s very cute. And yet Meta really wants me to hate her.

Similarly, I went through Instagram and liked several cats. My FY feed is now 80 percent cats, but still 20 posts about I’m an aging hag who needs thousands of dollars of cosmetic treatments so my man won’t leave me. I only click on cats.

Every day, Meta’s suite of products shows me a series of articles, reels, etc. trashing Sabrina Carpenter. Comments full of people saying she’s not pretty or talented. This started after I watched every Grammy performance, including hers.
I like her. I don’t get why this is my algorithm?