ren

you thought I was done

harness the power of these beneficial insects

[flirting] so which one do you think is the *second* hottest cryptid?

conversation starters with women: lately I've been trying to drive myself to the brink of insanity. walking to the cliff and peering over the edge. sometimes I see myself at the bottom waving up.

conversation starters with guys: bro fig newtons are lowkey a goated snack?

that's a valid conversation starter

I would water you guys every day. You would get root rot. Don’t care. Water.

having to cancel my all my plans and not being able to see anyone (b/c sick) this week is making me realize two things:
1. I'm not nearly as much of an "introvert" as I once thought
2. I start to go insane when I can't discharge my malignant energies into other people

I guess 28 also

I'm interested in various colors & textures

meme that says "I bring a sort of born 4 weeks premature and then almost died of pneumonia vibe to my lungs that people who hear what it sounds like when I cough don't really like"

pleased to report that we have reached the "distressing wheeze" phase of cold recovery

🚬 *wordlessly passing it, thousand-yard staring into the distance while everything I've ever read on those terrible transgender internet forums flashes before my eyes*

I'm gonna smoke an entire pack of cigarettes and then eject either you, myself, perhaps even both of us from the airlock. I'll decide which on the last cigarette.

I guess it's *slightly* different in the sense that trans women grow the same kind of boobs that cis women grow while bottom growth is sort of this Secret Third Thing that you can only unlock if you're trans or have certain hormone conditions. but still, the same basic premise stands

I was thinking about this and just realized how stupid of a post it is because trans women have the exact same thing with boobs. Trans is when grow new parts.

the mothman statue

do you guys ever think about the mothman statue? I think about it a lot. why'd they make him so hot?

These bricked tents devoted, lest the wrath
Impendent, raging into sudden flame,
Distinguish not

(Milton writing about trying to hide boners in pants)

Invading Women's Spaces
(drinking the pink monster)

much of life is being one's own zookeeper

I have to break things otherwise I die and explode 😌

much of life is being one's own zookeeper

"eat this. you *like* this. I *know* you like this. you eat it all the time. you *are* hungry, you just can't tell because your body feels a little bit different and it's confusing you. no more diet coke until you have something that looks like a meal."

every time I get a little bit sick I start refusing food like some sort of temperamental zoo animal and then I have to be my own zookeeper and gently push nutrients towards me while speaking in a soft and soothing voice

tbh this is a little bit already how I do therapy

doing therapy recreationally

took cough medicine for the cough but forgot that this is also the medicine that makes time move a little bit funny so now I'm 0.8 seconds in the future

asking "so, what are *you* running from?" as an icebreaker

SAW GIRLFRIEND 😃

poly is plotting her murder with the metamour

the monument they build in my honor will be two vast and trunkless legs of stone