Sajdak's Sayings

"It’s the VHS Trailer Game! We took about two months off…"

"You know why? Because you were under investigation by the Gaming Commission." (Eric)

"Well, you know what? Cleared of all charges."

-City Slickers

Dane DeHaan in Metallica: Through the Never

"He also directed Metallica: Through the Never." (Andrew)

"It was 2006, and Dane DeHaan was the only person who really wanted to go to a Metallica show."

-Predators

Catherine Zeta-Jones in The Haunting

"Catherine Zeta-Jones is like a late ‘90s ‘I’m a hot chick who’s doing dudes and doing girls, and I’m going to tell everyone about it.’" (Andrew)

I believe they call them ‘bisexuals' now, Andrew."

-The Haunting

"Here’s the thing: Are all the parents sterile? Can’t they make new Elm Street kids?"

-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Jeff Foxworthy hosting "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

"Again…*Jeff Foxworthy* passed on this. Jeff Foxworthy would rather ask adults high school math questions than do this."

-Delta Farce

Yaphett Kotto in Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, with some unfortunately-styled hair

"Yaphet Kotto looks like he skinned an armadillo, and put it on like a helmet. It’s a bad jheri-curl."

-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Billy and Lisa Zane on the red carpet

"Lisa Zane, Billy’s older sister."

"Nice. Fucking sexy Greek family right there." (Andrew)

"You sire Lisa Zane and Billy Zane - who’s fucking? Zeus and Hera?!"

-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Freddy Krueger driving a bus in Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

"You get the second time in series history where Freddy is playing a bus driver, which lets you know that the series might be going too long."

-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

a man with spikes on his head is standing in front of a window and says the box you opened it we came ALT: a man with spikes on his head is standing in front of a window and says the box you opened it we came

"Apparently one of the words you can’t say to Pinhead is ‘pain.’" (Eric)

"Yes, he’s like, ‘THAT’S OUR WORD!’ He gets real nasty about it."

-Hellraiser: Bloodline

Michael Myers getting out of a car in Halloween (1978)

"But, I’m sorry, you have a hulking weirdo in a mechanic’s outfit wearing a William Shatner mask, in a car that says ‘Nuthouse’ on it. And he’s just driving around town and no one is stopping him!"

-Halloween (1978)

Rachel Weisz in The Mummy with some eyebrows that have been tweezed about as far as physics will allow

"We’re getting the party started and Rachel Weisz just got her eyebrows waxed. It’s a real Uncle Leo ‘Are you mad at me?’ scenario."

-The Mummy (1999)

"We live in New York, and if we wanted to go to Texas right now, it would be expensive and a drag. But we could get there in a few hours if we wanted. THAT is what going back in time is like for someone in Starfleet."

-Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy in Star Trek IV, with Nimoy wearing a white, bathrobe-type outfit

"We should say that Spock is wearing a Ramada Inn bathmat taped together for this entire movie."

-Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

BREAKING: Jamelle comes down on the side of Team Steve on the critical sandwich-cutting question

"I’m gonna say what my wife said on our anniversary when I took my shirt off: ‘Captain, there be whales here!’"

-Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

"You guys ever make a fake profile on the internet? Get into some shenanigans?" (Eric)

"Those records are sealed, unfortunately."

"Okay, so one yes." (Eric)

-Once in a Lifetime: Killer Profile

"That would be the one way to beat the Kobayashi Maru, just firing crew members at the Klingons."

"They would retreat and respect your ferocity." (Eric)

-Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

"Dude, this is not how breasts work, as I understand it."

"We're now going live to resident breast expert, Stephen Sajdak." (Chris)

-Catwoman

"What are you talking about, Eric? This is #700 on the AFI ‘Best Comedies’ list." (Chris)

"Oh, there were only 700 comedies ever made, got it."

-Bushwhacked

James Spader in Tuff Turf

"So long as he has that veneer of ‘I couldn’t give a shit if you lived or died,’ I’m on-board with James Spader."

-Tuff Turf

I have this image framed on the wall of my living room over the caption “Diabeetus Braveheart”

Wilfred Brimley riding a horse while carrying a bow and screaming, as a fire rages in the background in Hard Target. Basically, the coolest thing you can imagine.

"That horse that rode Brimley away from that explosion! You think that horse is retiring to a peaceful life somewhere?! ‘Now any horses that expire under me, I get to eat! I’m making a horse po’ boy!’"

-Hard Target

"In Boy Meets World, it turned into them going into middle school like, ‘Everybody’s gotta get dates!’ And I was just sitting there in middle school like, ‘That is not my experience.’"

-Animation Damnation: Disney's Doug

"Why are we talking about this Mr. Bones when we could be talking about *this* Mr. Bones, which is a Sega Saturn game about a skeleton playing a guitar? That’s so much better!"

-Gleep Glossary: Mr. Bones

an aerial view of the city of new york with the empire state building in the center ALT: an aerial view of the city of new york with the empire state building in the center

"How many cocktail weenies have you guys eaten in one sitting?" (Andrew)

"Fuck, forget about it - villages." (Eric)

"My God. I’m Galactus with cocktail weenies."

-The Happening

"I was just thinking about Netflix in 2008, and you would have to get this movie mailed to your house. ‘I made arrangements for The Happening to be mailed to my house.’"

-The Happening

"Why does he have to be a prince of hell? He’s 98 years old and 100 million years old in hell time. I feel the same about Prince Charles - after you turn 68 years old, you’re not a prince anymore. Maybe you’re a baron now."

-I, Frankenstein

"I was driving with buddies to Tampa Bay, and we got flashed. My friend, who was closest to the window, his retort was, ‘You have really beautiful breasts!’ That’s the best thing you can say, I think?"

-Final Destination 2

"Picture Jai Courtney in your head, in this movie or something else. You got him in your head?" (Andrew)

"I already forgot what he looks like, but go on."

-I, Frankenstein

"Sometimes when you cast a movie, you drive up to like Emerald City Comic Con, like you're picking up migrant workers to work on a house. And you're like, 'Who wants in?!' And whoever's there just gets on for the day."

-I, Frankenstein