Orc Bitch

Time to once again do historical fashion research for a project I'll never end up completing 🔍👀

Groaning like a wounded animal trying to find a position in bed where my back doesn't hurt

My Star Wars Ranking is, the ones with more stupid puppets in them are better and the ones that have more CG or are really self-serious are worse. I'm not a huge Star Wars guy but somebody better be talking directly to a hairy little Jim Henson's creature shop freak in a language we can't understand

Wish there was a way to use my phone to do a really vulgar roast of one of my friends. Like REALLY vulgar. Oh well

Every day that I decide to go grocery shopping becomes a holiday called Tasting Day where I taste a little of everything in my kitchen

•*• Funny-Presence4228 LPT: How to win as a guest and make new friends at a raging, alcohol fuelled party Food & Drink I'm getting older now, and some of my friends' kids have recently started college. I've been reliably told that alcohol-fuelled parties are still happening, and I shared this advice about how to make new friends and be a hero. One of them took my advice, and now has a new girlfriend because of this. The key to the following advice is an element of secrecy because the surprise makes it even better. Arrive late and sneak Lasagna into the party. I mean, taking a large, catering-sized tray of lasagna, along with a stack of paper plates and forks, to a raging house party. I used to do this back in college. I'd make one, sometimes two, in the afternoon in big foil trays before goin to a party. Show up around 10.30pm, and slip them into the oven without asking permission telling anyone. Medium heat for 30 minutes to warm it up. Get my paper plates out, and shout: "Lasagna is ready" to a packed house of drunk people, and hand them all a fork. It's cheaper than bringing beer, no clean-up, and I got laid pretty often. Important note: Make sure the person who owns the oven is the first in the line, and don't make a mess. Maybe make one meat and one vegan or something... This last point was less of a concern back in my day, but we must move with the times.

tfw you’re fucking the lasagna man for lasagna

Motoko Kusanagi

I would love to kick the shit out of him

It's a good thing crushes only come around once a decade for me nowadays, because my heart can't take it

Who was ur go-to Episode 1 racer guy? Mine was Neeva Key. Nasty little imp vibe

No weapons

The only thing that'd get me out of this funk is a hot and burly tgirl challenging me to battle

Time to do my heckin laundry

Accidentally gave myself a small dysphoria panic attack by reading a little of an erotic FTM isekai comic

That's super interesting, I'm kind of the opposite lol. I love androgyny but am less into ppl who skew too far in either direction

jam out with your clam out

Can't believe I was bamboozled into topping

14 year old me 🤝 38 year old me

"Dragonball is fucking sweet"

This is so cool. Everything in Dragonball is so cool

Western media has a real aversion to having characters who shoot energy beams out of their mouths and I think it's cowardly

I could never date someone named Bob. Sorry

Come. My bosom is pillowy soft. Rest your weary head, traveler.

Hurt my neck a little doing shrugs so gonna turn in early I think

The best way you can endear yourself to me as a cis girl is to whip out a killer bjork impression

I'm tired of Gianmarco Soresi dressing like a slutty fag. It's stolen valor

An elf?? On MY timeline???? 😤

Anyway time to listen to @illconceivedpodcast.com and workout

"Got covid" is one of them lol

I may be an orc, but I have renounced Gruumsh

Being trans is hard! But I refuse to let its difficulties harden my heart against other trans people