DocAtCDI

I say my secret superpower is detecting Indian flatbread in any given room.

My friends, it's naan-sense.

How do flat earthers travel the world?

On a plane.

A young nurse was nervous about giving vaccinations but gave it her best shot.

it is a LOT

but the message here is fix one person's problem because the rest are only messaging

life is too damn expensive

and its not because one person is living in rent controlled housing

its because we let capitalism thrive with no morality to guide it

My wife threatened to leave me because of my obsession with optical illusions. I said: Wait! This isn't what you think it is!

How to Swallow a City A Goblin’s Field Guide to Detroit, 2025

I arrived speaking granite and moss. Detroit replied with buses and bass. The mushroom did something impolite to the fabric of reality, I landed face-first on Woodward Avenue under a billboard selling trucks taller than my aunt’s stalagmites. The calendar said 2025.
open.substack.com/pub/docatcdi...

What a line! #dadjoke

I always think the thumb is on the left side...

On the other hand, it might be on the right side.

You hear about the new broom? It's sweeping the nation!

What's the best thing that happened to you today?

#BestThingOfTheDay

I spent all day yesterday bobbing up and down in the water.

It's been my dream ever since I was a little buoy.

Just an FYI: whatever happened on Habibi Squad or in life happened. It just Haz To Be. Ba dum tss! HABIBI! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Someone screw me up please!🤦‍♂️
#fyi #habibisquad #YouTube #whatever #happened #life #hazem #haz #haztobe #cringe #cringey #dad #joke #dadjoke #PUN #daft #faceslap

How do you know how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give a weigh, give it a weigh now...

I know you guys will get it.
#dadjoke
#pun
#flatearthersarestupid

I heard about a guy buying an old Boeing 747 to turn into a high-class restaurant.

I cant see that taking off.

What'd the snail say on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

I told my wife I wanted breakfast in bed. She said go sleep in the kitchen. #dadjoke

Why do carrots never get lost ?
#dadjoke #puns #jokeoftheday #jokes #funny

I almost got caught stealing a board game today...

...but it was a Risk I was willing to take.

Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

This #DadJoke is my Roman Empire 😜

#ThatsSoDad #ChanDoAttitude #dad #joke #jokes #dadjokes #pun #puns #comedy

Police have announced that they found a golf cart with an incomplete set of golf clubs. They’re still looking for the driver.

#dadjoke

What do you call a woman who lives at the top of a church tower? Belle.

It's so hot outside that Garlic took off all their cloves...

#Dadjoke

Our local bridge was closed today. I still can't get over it!

I asked google
how often do people die in hot air balloons?

turns out it's only once...

Whatcha need?

Whats the difference between a vampire and a smoker at a narcoleptic convention?
One sleeps in a coffin, and the other coughs at a sleep-in!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino (El-if-I-know).

Close up of Singe, flushed and sweating a bit as he addresses the rest of his posse, "Hey guys... I think I might be getting sick..." He then lifts up the lower half of his younger cousin and pony centaur Beverly, "I'm feeling a LITTLE HORSE!" Beverly doesn't appreciate being used as a prop for her cousin's idiotic schemes and turns to elbow him in the face, "Put me DOWN!" as she kicks her little legs in vain!

Beverly doesn't appreciate being the BUTT of her cousin Singe's shitty dad jokes XD
#taur #centaur #centaurart #UnbridledBounty #pun #dadjoke