Steve Matuszek

Not Sure How They Deal With Criminals In Your Town, But ’Round Here We Use A Restorative Justice Process Well, well, well. What have we got here? Another city slicker who thinks he can waltz into my town and start causin’ all sorts of trouble. I’d be careful if I was you, fella. Because however they do t...

Not Sure How They Deal With Criminals In Your Town, But ’Round Here We Use A Restorative Justice Process — theonion.com/not-sure-how...

POLL:

Who's your favorite coach in the NFL?

A. Mike McDonald
B. Mike McCarthy
C. Mike Vrabel
D. Mike McDaniel
E. Mike Tomlin
F. Mike McCoy
G. Mark McMichael
H. Mike Markman
I. Mork McMarkmike
J. Mickmack Markmick
K. Muck McMikemike
L. McMike "Mike" McMike

you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am

once i figure out how to plate these canapés it's d'oeuvre for you hors

Regarding your praise for Rachel Leigh Cook "not trying to do too much": would you say she's taking what the picture gives her

tweet from childish branzino @absflora: timothée chalamet is the new benedict cumberbatch in the sense that you can say ANYTHING and we know who you mean. tiffany chevrolet. timpanogos charlemagne. symphony cabernet. jiminy castaway.

Higgledy piggledy
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design

Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme

🎃

A level of Dudes Rock thought unreachable by modern science, somehow achieved

Pac Nicholson

Someone spent $12,000 on a Jay Cutler football card in 2025 — why? A bidding war erupts over a Jay Cutler card eight years after his retirement

“Trust me, I didn’t want to pay this much money for it. I don’t want to spend $12,107 on a Jay Cutler card.” www.nytimes.com/athletic/655...

A screenshot from the anime Scott Pilgrim Takes Off in which a mysterious character uploads a file that will later prove to have an edit date fourteen years in the future

do people post comics here... anywho! a really old one!

Dragon Whiskers (2019)

Want to feel old? There is a ‘90s exhibit at the history museum.

This had a much happier ending than I expected (at no point did I notice that the cover says Volume 1)

“Oh, did a sportsball happen?” I whisper smugly from my vantage point on a distant cliff, the sounds of celebration in the village far below just barely audible over the lonely wind whipping my tattered cloak

The login page for excalidraw.com. Like many websites, it allows you to log in using an identity provider; in this case the options are Facebook, Github, and Google. Unlike most of those websites, it includes a "Used last" label, which for me indicates that I used Google last time. I think this is a big improvement. I use all of these identity providers, but can never remember which ones I use for which websites. And if you guess wrong you may end up creating a redundant login, since each identity provider's interstitial UI is different, and they don't always make it clear whether you're using a connection you previously approved or creating a new one.

Shout out to @excalidraw.com for this obvious-once-you-think-of-it improvement to OAuth login! Explanation in the alt text if this doesn't hit home for you immediately.

One point about the Black Sox that gets very lost in all the World Series spotlight — we have strong evidence they continued to throw games in 1920, possibly up to as many as 12 times. Buck Weaver and Joe Jackson do NOT come off looking good here: sabr.org/journal/arti...

1987 is probably too late, but The Fool's Errand is an all-time classic!

video games were never meant to be 100 GB

years of research yet no real-world use found for 4k textures

wanted good graphics anyway, as a joke? we had a tool for that: it was called imagining that the game looked like the manual art

He’s 100% right and we need dudes who talk like this

Eagles Score On 99-Yard Tush Push theonion.com/eagles-...

Use of the em dash is a dead giveaway that you read The Mac is Not a Typewriter by Robin P. Williams www.peachpit.com/store/mac-is...

Hi! Quick note: The Onion accidentally posted a stock photo from a vendor with an AI generated image in it. We pulled the post down once we found that out. Our commitment to not using AI is very real. It's in the union contract to disclose it if we ever do. World is a slop minefield and we're sorry.

No Man Can Escape his Journey | Baseball Prospectus Everyone wonders if it still works.

No Man Can Escape his Journey
by Justin Klugh (@justinklugh.bsky.social)

Admittedly, this idea made me laugh, so I had to draw it. It will make sense to fans of Golden Age comics. As for the rest of you, please check the comments. 😁

The target audience is CEOs who end up with bad reservations because their human EAs openly despise them

Chair Stop-Motion 🪑💨 Made with 444 pictures taken over 10 days

after days of grifters and con men at CES we stumbled upon the booth for VLC. they were all dressed as wizards and told us, "we have nothing to sell, we just decided to show up". i told them I'd been using their software to pirate media for 15 years and they said "keep doing that"

mayor of whoville: ive had it with that grinch

wife: isn’t he good now?

mayor: i don’t buy it

wife: he wrote us an original christmas song. he is making an effort

mayor: sure but he called it “fuck city: born to die”

wife: yeah and that rules

mayor:

wife: why are you being such a little bitch