the human sadiepede

guy doing the opening for Return to Innocence:

how it feels when you realize the journey is the destination

thanksgiving weekend in NYC is an awesome time to be on tinder if you weren't actually hoping to meet up with anyone until next week

i just had to make sure i was clear and everyone knew where i stood!

i'm grateful for all of you guys. and for dick cages, of course

my work is addicted to making me take little personality quizzes, which is great for me, a girl who was on the internet in 2003-2005

ever since i was a little girl, i knew i wanted to be one half of a couple fighting at a low but pointed volume on the train

what can i expect?

me

in fact i would love to chat,

just want to make it clear that i would never shame a man for being a gawk gawk machine

in another life, i would have enjoyed catching up on TV shows with you

just caught myself romanticizing an experience that i have definitely already done and it wasn't actually that enjoyable

i'm all alone with no jacket to be borrowéd 😮‍💨

i love being a part of the bustling NYC nightlife scene (outside at 5:30pm)

bringing back the old traditions (watching porn in non creepy and normal ways)

you try to go to one brazzers themed event on the lower east side and all of the sudden the very normal ways you watch porn come under an unsettlingly close scrutiny

i pay extra

biting my dentist's fingers so she knows i'm down to play rough sometimes

ohhhh i've definitely been mangled

been thinking all morning about how improbable it is that i made it this far when in any other era i was so clearly destined to be mangled in a horrible mill accident

"surely no one else will go near the mangler" -me, watching classic tobe hooper horror film 'the mangler'

the mangler. now that's a tobe hooper classic

took off my headphones long enough at the grocery store to hear most of the beach boys' kokomo. exactly what brian wilson would have wanted. rest in peace

absolutely, i've got some time to kill

i didn't realize you were on here!!

the pawg is coming from inside the house

omw

totally understandable, definitely more rough around the edges

i'm going to the boyfriend store, do you need anything?