The Littlest Oaf

All you can do is try!

Barkeep, make her a Manhattan with extra iodine!

What a pretty little fly!

MJM (pulling back 18 foot sheers framed by 20 foot curtains all dressing a mullioned window & looking out) (quietly): I’m going to need a teal roadster, a bow & arrow, & a thermos of Pimm’s & lemon, please.

👏👏👏

Once upon a time, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy who grew up to enjoy spending his time farting next to me while eating beef sticks.

A bee inspects the flowers of an anise hyssop plant.

A b c

That’s a bit of an awkward name for an app from a marketing perspective. Would you consider SCOR?

We’re a stupid species. I hope you make it back home one day.

It’s very easy to not use a word and I’ve learned to not use words that I used to use so it’s very disappointing to see what seems to be a resurgence of the use of the “r word” among people who I might’ve once respected. Do it right, you fucks.

Qrik, I think you know the world better than any of us stupid humans do.

It sucks shit that women have to put up with garbage people like that, but you handled him like the little needy fuck he is. Good on you.

ME: if you’re cold, they’re cold. bring them inside

CORONER: for the last time, please stop opening the cabinets and taking out the bodies

You know the world’s gone to shit when you hear some new music you like and your first reaction is “is it AI?”

I’m just sitting in the backyard by myself having a jolly Saturday night, but every time I fart the dogs come charging out of the house like there’s some horrid creature they must destroy.

They might be right.

An overexposed full moon rising behind a tree while the CN Tower lurks nearby.

Bonus shot of a full moon-rise from our roof with the CN Tower nearby. Phones really suck at photographing the moon.

Cheers LA!

Maybe the t-rex was so mean because they could never hug the others.

Have you been to a gathering? Do you know how magnets work?

You are far too kind to our enemies. To the stockade with you, sir!

It’s nice when our enemies look like they’re dolls who have been microwaved for, like, 27 seconds. It makes them so identifiable.

carl's good caverns

A breezeway between two houses that’s full of plants and a little brown dog

A small verdant backyard in downtown Toronto with a tree, lots of plants, shrubs, etc. pea gravel and wooden decking.

Another angle showing some cedars filled with faerie lights and a couple of Muskoka chairs on a wooden deck.

A photo facing the back of the house. There are faerie lights, a wooden deck and an open sliding glass door.

I crush pretty hard on my little urban backyard on hot summer nights. Wish you were here.

Stay safe out there!

if you were walking down the street of new york and you bumped into a christian baby who loudly shouted "ey i'm walking here!" but upon closer inspection that baby was an austrian boy named adolf hitler with a she/her trans flag pin, would you socially murder that baby with the coward's they or not?

I feel bad, but I actually laughed when I read this.

My dry sense of humor comes from a steady diet of silica packets.

Good article. I would also suggest that the park could use some good public art.

Also, I don’t know if you follow Al Scorch on insta, but he does slightly comedic reviews of public park washrooms in Chicago. Some of them are quite lovely!

Absolute fucking c*nts. I hope they’re found and prosecuted to the full extent of the law, or worse.