Carl Omniart

bringing in my pinch viewer

“Mariners: ‘Well well well not so easy to find a playoff game shorter than 15 innings, huh?” Onion DeBlasio story but like, terribly done

this is just to say

i ate your fucking plums
in your twee little icebox
suck shit

i didn’t even finish them properly
i just don’t want you
to have plums

Blech.

To quote my kid: "I'm going to throw up the top half of my guts and poop out the bottom half"

We saw a “Deport Deez Nuts” and “Oli-gargle Deez Nuts” here in Seattle.

Every time the monorail went over us, the marching crowd cheered. People like transit!

I’m digging the protest signs that keep things simple:

“Dick”
“Deport Deez Nuts”
“Fascism is Bad!”
“John Roberts Fuck You”
“NO”

Eating Grape Nuts for breakfast because it seems like a good metaphor for resistance i.e. don’t make it easy for them.

Me standing in the pen, holding a hand-drawn sign: PEOPLE WHO WALKED ON THE MOON: USA 12 - CANADA 0

Me, holding a hand-drawn sign in The Pen, “KENDRICK WON”

Me, holding a hand-drawn sign in The Pen: YEAH, I WATCH CBC: CAL BARREL CANADIANS The sign includes a drawing of Cal Raleigh following through on a home run swing in front of the CBC logo.

Me, holding a hand-drawn sign in The Pen: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS SINCE ‘94 USA 31 - CANADA 0

I can’t bring as many signs for the ALCS as I would the regular season, but I am out here doing it. #GoMariners #SeizeTheMoment

That’s what I said, between Laramie and Forty Colons.

You mean between Laramie, WY and Ft. Rawlins.

how happy we’d all be if this was all the internet was for

Y A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A Y ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

A A A A A R R R R R R G G G G G G H H H H H ! ! !

A R R R G G G G H ! ! !

Between his half-swing double and his slow steal of third—in which he was half-way to third by the time of the pitch was delivered—Josh Naylor just made postseason greatness seem achievable to all of us schlubs.

Blue Jays win World Series = no White House visit 👏👏👏

Peppermint Patty has it in her, but lacks the executive function to follow through with it. She’d enlist Marcie, but Clue rules don’t allow conspiracy. Lucy is openly homicidal, but would do it with her bare hands, obviating a critical component of the Clue game.

Jucika and the new book.

Dam been writing a book about this and she just TikToked it in 90 seconds.

I didn't know my teachers' politics. I mean there was that one time my class voted for Dukakis over Bush. A teacher came in, trashed Dukakis for a while, and then Bush won the revote. But other than that.

Looks to me like he’s trying to demonstrate 2 over 3 but skipping the three.

It’s okay, Max. I’d make a hash of demonstrating a slider.

When you become a civil, sober politics knower like myself, you understand that by noticing a bad person is bad, you become even worse than them. And they become good

A photo of an orange and white cat licking a black and white cat on the side of his face next to a photo of Gillian Anderson licking David Duchovny's face. The poses are the same.

doodoo yoohoo

this reminds me that i think people would be less interested in “raw milk” if we called it “poop milk” or “shit milk”

"Jucika's Personal Bus Stop"

Dammit how I am I just discovering the existence of this wonderful thread