Arnesa Buljusmic-Kustura

He’s been through so much already

Okay fr he looks so Bosnian to me

@arnesa.bsky.social gave an amazing speech on stages of genocide at the National Education Union Srebrenica commemoration event. I was proud of her scholarship and brokenhearted we still need genocide scholars.

I am genuinely so tired of hearing anti-medicine conspiracy theories propagandise about their anti-chemotherapy and “alternative treatments for cancer”. People are dying because of these assholes and their conspiracy theories.

Wealth is built on the backs of many innocent abused workers

Unfortunately so

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

There’s a Bosnian saying: “Možeš kako hoćeš, al’ ne i dokle hoćeš” which roughly translates to:

“You can do as you like, but not for as long as you like.”

While people may have the freedom to act a certain way, that freedom is not unlimited as eventually, there are consequences and limits.

& while it may have taken me getting cancer again and getting hurt and exploited repeatedly in order to understand my own worth and the value of the work I have done and continue to do…I, nonetheless, came to my senses.

Better late than never.

& honestly while getting cancer again was awful in every single sense, it also showed me that people will happily allow others to burn if it means they get ahead. It showed me how deeply horrid many I looked up to at one point genuinely are. How disappointed I was. I still am, in fact.

One more thing:

I have been sick and while I am continuing to do better, I still had cancer. While many lovely and beautiful people in my community reached out, not a single one who exploited me, stole my work, took credit for my work, ever did. Not a single one asked about my health.

Tdlr;

People suck and are exploitative assholes.

So I can and will do it all. Alone at first. Until I find the right people in it for the right reasons.

Until then…I suppose that I plan to answer my phone a lot less. I plan to say no a lot more often. I plan to always ask “what is the compensation for this” for every single thing now.

I mean ffs, I worked at two separate orgs in which I was quite literally the only person working and willing to do all the unsexy, ugly, tiring, exhausting, draining behind-the-scenes work, while others only cares about getting their name in the right publications or mingling with politicians.

I like working, I like contributing, I love knowing that I did something that made an actual impact, that I helped a person, a family, a community, fucking humanity as a whole.

I always will. But I can do all of that alone. After all, I’ve done it all alone before. Many, many times.

I should not have to be some evil, heartless, asshole of a person that exploits others in order for my work to be properly recognised and especially protected.

I do not wish to be like that. I like who I am. I like that I fucking care about everything and everyone all of the damn time.

And the thing is…I also should not have to be like *them* in order to ensure that my work and contributions are valued, recognised, and fairly compensated for.

I am a good person who is always trying her best to be better, to do more, to learn more, to grow, to help, to try, to do the right thing.

I keep telling myself that one day I, too, will become a heartless and evil cunt who solely cares about what I can get out of people, how much money I can make, and how many people I can trick into thinking I am a decent person.

But that’s bs. I am not evil, unkind, heartless, and I refuse to be.

I am responsible for my own actions and my own actions alone. I do care deeply and I am fully committed to my work and I always will be.

But I do not need anyone—especially not people who lie, who are dishonest, who exploit others, who mistreat others, who steal time, labour, and money. No more.

There have been multiple instances this week alone where I have broke down to my loved ones about why I keep being exploited, why and how people continue to do anything other than be fair and honest, and why I keep getting screwed over.

Today is the last time I allow myself to cry over that.

B/c enough really is enough and from now on everything I do will be recorded, will be publicised, will be shared and most importantly will be protected. *I* will be protected. My work and my words will be protected.

& I will come for anyone who dares to try and use me for their own gain.

Enough.

I cannot keep doing this to myself and I simply refuse to. I refuse to allow myself to continually be exploited for the sake of community, human rights, and whatever else they use to make me feel guilty for saying no. I refuse to be the scapegoat, to be the bad guy for saying “enough”.

But I am so tired of it. I am so exhausted of being the bigger and better person. I am so tired of caring too much. I am so deeply exhausted by the fact that the love I have for humanity, for my own community is exploited. That my hope for a better world is exploited.

In return…I got scammed out of money. Money I worked for. Money I worked for while still sick. It’s not about the money. It’s about the fact that people are assholes that will exploit you until there is nothing left of you. & they’ll still expect you to defend them and keep quiet.

But I am a dumbass that never seems to learn. This past week for example, I was asked by a person for MULTIPLE favours. Multiple favours throughout the week and b/c I actually care…I did those favours. My time, my energy, my labour…even while I am still recovering from cancer. I did it anyway.

A Bosniak woman makes it on the cover of the Guardian and gets over 10,000 other Bosniak survivors of the war and genocide to sign an open letter to the ICJ, gets it to the ICJ, and ensures it is read by them and yet it is too much to say her name. It is too much to acknowledge her.

But God forbid they acknowledge all the work I have done. God forbid they make it clear who did the work. Who made it happen. Who called in the favour. Who woke up at 6 am and worked for free until 9 pm. God forbid they give me the credit I am due. No, absolutely not.

And yet, despite all of that, when people need help they still come to me. Whether it’s my work, my words, my labour…they still call. Whether it’s my connections, my network, my past experiences, my trauma, or even my child…it is still me that they call.

I stayed silent while I was mistreated by people who are looked up to in the community. I stayed silent while I was made the scapegoat when others did not do their work, did not contribute, did not do anything to warrant the attention I got but yet wanted it themselves. I hate myself for it.

But the worst of it all is when I kept quiet. Despite all of my work and efforts…every time I was mistreated I kept quiet for the sake of community, or someone else’s reputation, or the bigger picture, or the efforts I’ve made, or the work others & I were doing or mainly because I fucking cared.