Aryk

Imagine what kind of devious shit I could get into of I were president with unilateral control over everything. Banning high-fructose corn syrup. Demolishing and forgiving every student loan in existence. Oh no the banks want to sue me? The Corn industry? Fuck you I'm the president.

Sometimes I'll consider turning my YouTube watch history back on, but then the site or app reminds me just how desperately it wants me to turn it back on and I end up changing my mind out of spite. Why do they want to know what I watch so badly? Freaks.

Common nicknames for my pups that I throw around:

Pesky Manses
Lil' Guy
FOUL TARNISHED. YE WHO THINKS THEMSELF FIT TO SERVE AS ELDEN LORD. THOU ART FIT ONLY TO SERVE AS ERRAND BOY TO A GNAT
Little Man with Big Plans

Wish people would stop bothering the likes of @grantkirkhope.bsky.social about whether a Banjo game exists. Like he'd break an NDA just to confirm to a bunch of old gamers who won't let a franchise just die already. (It's me, I'm the old gamer who won't let an old franchise just die)

"Hey so uh... What happened to that rocket we gave you millions of dollars for?"

"Hahahahahaha give me more money and you'll find out 😏"

On the bright side at least we would know which publications to definitely *not* trust.

"Dad says it's my turn in the tortilla"

What an absolutely mesmirising shade of green.

ROTUND

My magnum opus:

Capitalism will do literally anything to avoid paying adults a livable wage to encourage them to want to work.

Well, the -et suffix can sometimes denote a smaller version of a bigger thing like in "islet". So by that logic we can extrapolate that the "Nugg" Is where nuggets come from. Where that is on a chicken is still a mystery, but I hope that helps.

Idk you, but this somehow came across my timeline and fwiw from a random stranger: split dyes are sick as hell 😎

I will forever be bitter about the lack of a comprehensive high-speed rail system in America. I know it would be a logistical nightmare, but dammit if it doesn't sound so fuckin' cool. We just colonized the West and said 'yup we're done'. Also auto and aero lobbyists prolly had something to with it.

At this point I think a corn chip would do better in the polls than Schumer.

Everything Bagels are great. Especially if you like edible confetti raining down onto your plate every time you take a bite.

Yeah because the people who benefit most from a recession are the rich. They buy up all the shit that us Poors were too poor to keep a hold of. Like houses and businesses. Then they'll rent them back to us as thanks. Then they can turn around and blame the Dems for not preventing it or fixing it.

I wish America would finally *spring forward* out of 1950's for fuck's sake.

Lil guy needs to lay off the airheads.

Fully acknowledging I know nothing about Brazil, but I think it's funny to imagine their tourism department's budget is just spent on paying normal citizens with how much I see people say "COME TO BRAZIL" in practically any interaction with famous people. Far more than any other country, lol.

I just saw an incredibly rotund rabbit in my back yard. You could say I've had a pretty good day today.

After suffering French counting I'm so thankful that the number system in Finnish is in Base 10. The -teens are funny to me. I like to think they got 1-10, and figured just do ”[1-9] plus [10]” for the multiples, but forgot about 11-19 and said "uhhhh screw it do [1-9] again".

"I'm tired of being called a duck" quacked the duck.

At this point I'm just hoping the concept and possibility of a fair and just election is even still a thing by 2029.

YouTube video by CaptainTrekkie Gardening with Patrick Stewart

Me to that motherfucking groundhog:

I hate that it's abbreviated to "S.A.D." cuz it makes it sound so diminutive, lmao. Like "Aww do you have S.A.D. 🥺? Poor widdle guy just be happy 🤗!"