ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs's Avatar

ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs

@smartasshat.favrd.social

These are the voyages of the Starship Euphemize. Its five year mission: To explore strange new words, to seek out new jokes and new implications. To boldly go🚽

222 Followers  |  127 Following  |  3,340 Posts  |  Joined: 28.06.2023  |  2.1069

Latest posts by smartasshat.favrd.social on Bluesky

Ballerina (2025)

No ballerinas were harmed in the production of this film.

-PETB

13.10.2025 02:35 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Preview
At least 4 killed, 20 hurt in bar shooting in St. Helena Island, South Carolina: Sheriff The shooting occurred just before 1 a.m., according to the sheriff's office.

We must send the Oregon National Guard to war-torn, superviolent South Carolina in a humanitarian mission to indoctrinate the mentally deficient populace into proper liberal thought.

12.10.2025 18:39 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

If they’re protecting Chicago, why does Dave Matthews still walk free?

12.10.2025 16:20 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Have fun with it. Make it a step-by-step breakdown and practice drills of Macaulay Culkin's tactics in Home Alone.

12.10.2025 04:41 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
AI slop of a tall dome shape, the surface of which has the appearance of pizza with various toppings, above a price and description in Spanish, translated:

$15.85

Special Extreme Pizza

Large pizza, 8 slices with ham, salami, onion, pepper, mushroom and cheese.

AI slop of a tall dome shape, the surface of which has the appearance of pizza with various toppings, above a price and description in Spanish, translated: $15.85 Special Extreme Pizza Large pizza, 8 slices with ham, salami, onion, pepper, mushroom and cheese.

AI slop of a shield-shaped, plastic-looking bulbous pizza above a price and description in Spanish, translated:

$14.75

Jocho Special Pizza

Large 8-slice pizza with ham, onion, bacon, sausage and cheese.

AI slop of a shield-shaped, plastic-looking bulbous pizza above a price and description in Spanish, translated: $14.75 Jocho Special Pizza Large 8-slice pizza with ham, onion, bacon, sausage and cheese.

Nonsensical AI slop appearing like a large albino octopus exploded over a round white platter above a price and description in Spanish, translated:

$17.76

Special Pastor Pizza

Large pizza, 8 slices with onion, pineapple, pastor and cheese.

Nonsensical AI slop appearing like a large albino octopus exploded over a round white platter above a price and description in Spanish, translated: $17.76 Special Pastor Pizza Large pizza, 8 slices with onion, pineapple, pastor and cheese.

AI slop of a polished oak upright teardrop-shaped object with a vertical oval divot carved out and filled with yellow cheese and gray mushrooms above a price and description in Spanish, translated:

$3.00

Bread with Garlic, Mushroom and Cheese

Two pieces of bread with garlic, cheese and mushroom.

AI slop of a polished oak upright teardrop-shaped object with a vertical oval divot carved out and filled with yellow cheese and gray mushrooms above a price and description in Spanish, translated: $3.00 Bread with Garlic, Mushroom and Cheese Two pieces of bread with garlic, cheese and mushroom.

“I want a refund. The delivery doesn’t look anything like the photos.”

12.10.2025 02:11 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

“Consider this a grant for golden shower science,” RFK Jr. squeaked as he slipped his hundred-wrapped room key into the stripper’s G-string.

11.10.2025 23:50 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
园
TRAVELHOST a =
Home / Come Cruise With Me
Norwegian Cruise Line cancels 50+ cruises, redeploys ships
More than 50 sailings across four ships have been canceled as a result of Norwegian Cruise Line's latest deployment changes.
By Alisha Dos Santos

园 TRAVELHOST a = Home / Come Cruise With Me Norwegian Cruise Line cancels 50+ cruises, redeploys ships More than 50 sailings across four ships have been canceled as a result of Norwegian Cruise Line's latest deployment changes. By Alisha Dos Santos

Gotta avoid airstrikes in the Caribbean after that Nobel Prize announcement.

travelhost.com/cruises/norw...

11.10.2025 21:27 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

@clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social TIRED: shitposting…

11.10.2025 20:47 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Woman gets shot on hunting trip by dog named 'Trigger' — Acclaim Magazine A woman from Indiana is recovering after being shot in the foot during a waterfowl hunt. The culprit? Her chocolate labrador, ‘Trigger’. According to Indiana Conservation Officer Jonathon Boyd, 25-yea...

Is it too much to ask that she's shot by a dog?

11.10.2025 19:02 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Don’t worry, surrounding states (and also everyone within a plane-flight’s distance from South Carolina), anti-vaxxers are famously eager to fully comply with government-imposed quarantine orders.

11.10.2025 18:54 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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South Carolina quarantines 153 unvaccinated children after measles exposure State authorities quarantined 153 unvaccinated kids who go to 2 Spartanburg, South Carolina, schools after they were exposed to measles.

The Vermont National Guard must invade the disease-riddled wasteland of South Carolina to enforce proper health practices.

11.10.2025 18:28 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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No survivors found after Tennessee explosives plant blast The 18 people unaccounted for after the blast at a Tennessee munitions factory are presume dead, say officials.

The California National Guard must invade anarchy-ravaged Tennessee to restore proper industrial safety standards.

11.10.2025 18:13 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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Six people dead in shootings during two separate Mississippi homecoming gatherings - Democratic Underground Forums

The Massachusetts National Guard must invade war-torn Mississippi to restore proper liberal order.

11.10.2025 17:36 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
11.10.2025 01:12 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
11.10.2025 00:57 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

“Chatty-G, transcribe all of Merlin Mann’s Wallet Guy bits, but replace ‘synergy’ with ‘big ask’”

10.10.2025 18:05 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

From now on if any of the Riyadh hacks “mock public order,” they are contractually obligated to bone-saw themselves.

10.10.2025 17:04 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Cause of Death Will Not Be Revealed for Disneyland Guest Who Died After Riding Haunted Mansion - Here's Why

ANAHEIM POLICE CONFIRMED TO PEOPLE THEY FOUND "AN UNRESPONSIVE WOMAN IN HER 60S" ON THE RIDE ON MONDAY, OCT. 6

By COLSON THAYER

Published on October 9, 2025

The Haunted Mansion attraction at

Cause of Death Will Not Be Revealed for Disneyland Guest Who Died After Riding Haunted Mansion - Here's Why ANAHEIM POLICE CONFIRMED TO PEOPLE THEY FOUND "AN UNRESPONSIVE WOMAN IN HER 60S" ON THE RIDE ON MONDAY, OCT. 6 By COLSON THAYER Published on October 9, 2025 The Haunted Mansion attraction at

Oh great. An old Disneyland guest’s unfinished business is the actual Haunted Mansion ride.

The place is going to reek of spectral ranch dressing for eternity.

10.10.2025 01:23 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

FREE LUIGI

09.10.2025 22:02 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I would stand for a song about the separation of Church and State.

09.10.2025 21:25 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Disturbing AI-created “sweaters” from an intrusive pop-up ad depicting overly large Santa faces making weird open-mouth expressions

Disturbing AI-created “sweaters” from an intrusive pop-up ad depicting overly large Santa faces making weird open-mouth expressions

BRB ordering my Surprize Buttsecks Santa and Glory Hole St. Nick sweater set.

09.10.2025 21:11 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Where’s George report of a two dollar bill logged on 6/10/2008 in Derry, NH, with the note:
“Withdrawn from BankNorth in Londonderry, NH on 6/6/2008.
Logged on 6/10/2008.
Plan to spend at strip club.” 
and tracked for the first time in Portland, OR, on 10/8/2025 with the note, “This bill entered with the new WheresGeorge.com App”

Where’s George report of a two dollar bill logged on 6/10/2008 in Derry, NH, with the note: “Withdrawn from BankNorth in Londonderry, NH on 6/6/2008. Logged on 6/10/2008. Plan to spend at strip club.” and tracked for the first time in Portland, OR, on 10/8/2025 with the note, “This bill entered with the new WheresGeorge.com App”

Proud to be contributing to the absolute anarchy and lawlessness of Portland.

09.10.2025 04:18 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

A good night to all except those who post torrents of Slow Horses without complete captions.

09.10.2025 02:59 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
09.10.2025 01:34 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Hegseth's Heffers huffing and puffing to a deep dish joint near you

07.10.2025 22:39 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

The least ICE could do is put Covid vaccine in the tear gas.

07.10.2025 19:55 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

A whole nother

07.10.2025 19:21 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

just one quick simple cursory proofread before hitting send when bluesky?

21.05.2025 18:21 — 👍 1    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

I like this because you’ll have to put up with the same silliness when François-Henri Pinault says Salma Hayek (hold on… I need to take a breath…) needs too much sex.

06.10.2025 15:20 — 👍 7    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

TRUFACT: Working at a medical testing device company, I visibly winced in a meeting when someone ended a description with *those words*. My boss noticed and asked, “What?”

I said, “When we write the documentation, we might want to call it something different.”

Everyone paused and went, “Ohhh.”

05.10.2025 00:07 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

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