gOcktopussy

Owcyh

Don't say "I'm bicurious" say "this has piqued my yuriosity"

Hmmmmm my curiosity is piqued

no music education thing irritates me more than "major=happy, minor=sad" because its not even helpful to people who know nothing about music theory, like its not even true!! there are so many exceptions!!!!!!!!

holy shit i cannot believe i have to explain this. for 🙄 some people 🙄 who still dont get it: the power of 400 horses pushes the penis INTO the vagina. THEN a seperate batch of 400 DIFFERENT horses pulls the penis OUT of the vagina.

I installed it

Hehehe yay 😇

It's a bold claim, that's for damn sure

Good boys per second..........

I'll file a formal request

Lmfao that is EXACTLY what my wife's followup question was

Not regularly, not historically, but generally speaking I'll have sex with anything that can consent to it in the right circumstances

My self-preservation and my need to live-for-the-bit are constantly at odds, like yeah obviously going over to someone's place to smash while they're under house arrest is a bad idea but also.... pretty funny

Getting my mistress a 4 piece wing combo

I am vaguely interested in hooking up with this dude but he once casually mentioned being under house arrest so I should probably look into that first

Talking to my extremely lesbian wife about the guy in my DMs who's flirting like "I've got a 400 horsepower engine ready to go 😏" and she's like "what does that mean? What does he mean by that? Like he has a motorcycle?" It's his dick bb. He's Talking about having a 400 horsepower dick

Dr Brassard reupholstered my pussy

Out of context this is like, the best meme I've ever seen in my long illustrious life

the meme with the guy standing in the corner in a lively party going "they don't know". text reads "they don't know they can never please me" and the crowd responds "shut up kyle we are playing milk the milk"

Afternoon rain-tinged nap 🥰🥰🥰

Omg incredible

I do cesspunk, cesswave, etc. Shitty Romantic stuff, post-cess, that kind of thing

The term "designer drugs" is so funny, like aren't all drugs designed? Intelligently designed? By the One True God? 🙏🙏🙏

Taylor Swift absolutely does cocaine and she is absolutely insufferable to be around when she does

Taylor Swift picking a fight with Charli is like... the "popular pretty girl" calling the "weird art kid" a crackhead because she posts bad slash fic on deviantart only to be weirdly nice to her 6 months later cuz her bf is facing expulsion and needs an Adderall plug to get his grades up

I stg Taylor Swift is singlehandedly gonna re-introduce 1980s breakfast club-ass high school clique dynamics to the youths and she must be stopped

Tonight we let our nipples do the talking

😌🥰 thank you so much, I do it all for The Community 🙏🙏🙏🙏

if nerd rock like the protomen has a comeback i'm about gonna go full high school bully about it

Dilating like a wise man

Stealing makeup like a poor man stealing

Tired of living like a grungler

Couldn't grung without a sense of feeling

And this is how you remind me of the tranny I am