Jed

The print settings screen on my laptop. The landscape option shows an image of a portrait piece of paper, and prints portrait. The portrait option shows an image of a landscape piece of paper, and prints landscape

My work laptop has been doing this since April and there’s probably a really simple fix to it I could look up but I decided it was easier for me to accept that landscape is now portrait and portrait is now landscape

if i had a nickel for every time Ash Regan had run for leadership of a party, lost, and then quit that party entirely i’d have two nickels, etc, etc

Great gowns, beautiful gowns

I’m in a place in Italy that has more of a pub feel than cafe/bar (it even has pub in the name) so thought I was safe just ordering at the counter but nope that was clearly not the case I have committed a terrible faux pas

Would quite like it if Spurs could manage to beat Wolves, an objectively shit team, ever

whenever Sherma's not on screen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's Sherma"?

Those final few mouthfuls of breadless soup are a truly miserable experience

Soup isn’t so much a meal as it is an excuse to eat half a loaf of bread (complimentary)

Paris Hilton stands at an ice cream van, holding up an ice cream in the shape of one of the Powerpuff Girls, and asks “Actually, can I have five more of these little blonde bitches?”

Lucas Bergvall

It’s alright I checked and all their palm oil is Roundtable on Sustainable Palm Oil certified, which I’m sure is a real thing saving the environment and not a greenwashing scam, me buying this bread *IS* ethical consumption under capitalism

Concerned that the question “why the hell does this Morrisons bakery bread need to have palm oil in it?” and the question “how the hell does this Morrisons bakery bread taste so good?” might be interrelated, RIP orangutans you had a good run but I’m sure if you tasted this bread you’d understand

I’m hoping that as I gain skills and abilities it will get a bit easier, wild choice to make this game so ridiculously hard right out of the gate and I am S T R U G G L I N G

The background of the signature on Angela Rayner’s resignation letter, which is a scan that has been pasted into the document, is a slightly darker shade of parchmenty yellow than the letter itself. It looks naff and totes unprofesh tbqh

Really sloppy attempt at colour matching for the pasted in signature on Angela Rayner’s resignation letter. If she weren’t already resigning this would be enough for me

Me fighting the first boss in Silksong : well this is laughably easy

Me fighting the second boss in Silksong : fuck fuck fuck this shit

This messaging’s a bit too wordy to paint onto a roundabout, he’s got no chance

Jokes aside how great is it to hear a British political leader speak like this 😍

Congratulations to @zackpolanski.bsky.social who put to rest any question of in what direction the party wishes to move.
Huge mandate for Greens Organise and ecosocialism.

Zack Polanski: 84.6%

E. Chowns & A. Ramsay: 15.4%

Turnout: 24,265 (37.6%)

And even though I’m an action staaaahh

Screenshot of a Guardian article about dog-friendly cinema screenings. The article is captioned “The rise of dog-friendly cinema screenings: ‘We never have to break up fights – there’s enough trouble with the humans’”

Probably not the hottest take ever but we should be more dog-unfriendly. Because what the fuck is this shit

Coming Up is so good, it’s basically Once In A Lifetime but through a tin can telephone, and it was released the exact same year so the technology definitely existed to make it not sound like complete shit but McCartney decided to toss off one of his best songs as the 80s equivalent of a voice memo

Typo in this. In my defence it’s hard to proof read from inside an oven, that little bulb doesn’t give much light

One day Avanti West Coast’s scientists will develop the technology to allow them to run a train in August that doesn’t have its heating on full blast, and humanity will ascent to a new age of scientific and technological enlightenment. I know it sounds like pie in the sky stuff but we must be close?

Years of watching a (…..) bafta winning actor showcase a variety of perfect English accents has prepared you for this moment, you’ll ace it

Hey take that back. Manchester United also exist

A photo of the dull “Crear Weddings” Subway advert that replaced the ICONIC “‘Nowhere has a vibe like Crear’ - Fran Healy Travis” adverts of yore

But what is Fran Healy Travis’s view on Crear? What’s the vibe like? Is it comparable to anywhere else?

An all timer Limmy earworm I fear, I may never recover

Feeeeed the cats, tuppence a bag 🎵

YouTube video by Bilal Zafar HOT MILK [LIVE STREAMED SHORT FILM]

ATTENTION 🚨

We made the first ever (I think)

LIVE STREAMED short film.

Starring:
NICK HELM
SOOZ KEMPNER
JOEY PAGE
ME

Directed by:
BEN MALLABY

You can see it here for FREE NOW

🔥HOT MILK🥛

youtu.be/On7EKdF_hNs?...

A groupchat message from August 2023 reading “Richarlison scoring 20+ goals this season”

Two years early but never lost faith in Richarlison my beautiful Pigeon Prince

Whichever misguided soul in IRN BRU’s marketing dept dreamt up “Unicorn Tears” and “Nessie Nectar”, bless you for trying to invent names for animal secretions that didn’t sound disgusting, but there’s no getting around the fact it still sounds like cryptid cum. May as well have called it Jock Jizz.

The big billboard and all the turnstiles at Queen Street have been taken over by adverts for MOTH cocktails… which would be fine except you are not legally allowed to drink them on any train departing from this station