David Braley

Head in hands wondering how this could happen to me, the popular president who posted a video of myself shitting on everyone 2 weeks ago

"You want me to come pick up the kids then I take it?"

Kids, in near harmony, screaming: WHAT EXPLAINS WHAT? Can we have more screen time?

Me at 8:30 AM: (pours cup of coffee)
Me at 11:30 AM: (finds cup of coffee, same spot, untouched) oh, that explains a lot.

Claude code saying "You're absolutely right"

everyone enjoying the future

Omg christo facists are the most evil ones

The generals are calling them fat man and little boy because of how badly they bombed.

File under "Fuck, I Wish I Thought of That!"

The magnetic deflector shield glows brighter when it is under attack from a plasma energy weapon.

(This is what is actually occurring.)

Hi @npr.org! We worked late tonight putting together this handy pocket guide!

It doesn't address road design issues, but if we're going to educate road users, we should include drivers.

It's the size of a folded business card. Print it, fold it, put it in your wallet!

kash patel always has the look of someone who just found out kash patel runs the fbi

posting this Classic over here in honor of the big man himself. adios bitch

Original post: mastodon.social/@gvwilson/11...

I will never be rich now, but at least I have my soul.

*poking bluesky with a stick*
“c’mon be funny”

That looks glorious! Happy Birthday!

It was lovely to see you again!

holy shit lmao

men will literally invent a new political party instead of saying “sorry i elected the fascist”

It is 1990. I am 5 years old. The US is bombing the Middle East. A Republican is president.

It is 2003. I am 17 years old. The US is bombing the Middle East. A Republican is president.

It is 2025. I am 40 years old. The US is bombing the Middle East. A Republican is president.

Exception accepted

Because it's 2025, and most people in the US still don't know what their own military looks like...

~1 in every 7 US Marines nationwide, is from California.

~1 in every 4 US Marines nationwide, is Hispanic or Latino.

Vincent Price, with an armload of floofy cats. Two black, two grey-ish. Because he's Vincent Price, he's hamming it up like mad with a ridiculous scowl on his face.

Because sometimes, what you really need to see in this life is Vincent Price with an armload of extremely floofy cats.

Well, I do. Love that man.

Well, I had an interesting Sunday night, how 'bout you?

Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife! And a big thanks to @telstarman.bsky.social for helping me throw her an amazing surprise birthday party the other day!

His tarrifs are heavy, Signal leaking, deportations already
Fox news hosts in his cabinet you jelly?
He's racist, but on the surface, he looks orange and sweaty
Bomb Yemen? He forget that they did it already
When he walks out, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but only lies come out

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho *cared* that his country was suffering.

He eagerly sought intelligent advice and let it change his mind. He was held to account by a vigorous legislature.

For us, today, Idiocracy might as well be The West Wing.

we need a totally revised constitution and I think we should call it the Consti2tion