Matrix

tapping the sign til my fingers bleed

American Century of Humiliation is manifesting in ways I did not predict.

Illustration of Karlach and Shadowheart laying on a luminescent blue fabric at opposite angles with their faces nearly touching, caressing eachother's hair and gazing into each other's eyes longingly. Karlach is wearing a small leather top and leather pants, Shadowheart is wearing a purple metal bikini.

happy valentines day ♥️💜💙

iconic shot of Lucas Pinheiro Braathen on the podium

hello and welcome to the political genius exam. here is question one. which is a more compelling message:

- the president is sending armies to occupy cities and kidnap and kill people and your town could be next
- a meal at the cheesecake factory that previously cost $100 now costs $104.9

Incidentally, I started thinking about this because they already have a Nike mascot, "Swooshman" or whatever, in Fortnite. It would probably only take one phone call with Mr. Pepsi or whoever the fuck, because you KNOW Epic is a slut for brands.

They'd probably have to stick him in a mech or something for hitbox reasons, but if the mech is covered in 7Up logos, I think that would be acceptable.

My most embarrassingly pro-capitalist opinion is that they need to put Pepsiman in Fortnite. I'm sorry, but they do.

Yesterday morning kids were sent running from their bus stop in panic because ICE showed up. This guy at today’s ICE Out of Lindenwold protest is a must watch 😭. @maddow.bsky.social

i just saw someone say that we should strand elon musk on the moon with a camera & a gun. then after he does it, go back and get the camera and publicly broadcast the video 24/7. and make anyone with over $5m watch it every day before theyre allowed to get out of bed

wow. sounds like a lot of work!

Babe Ruth isn't nearly as hot as his name suggests. One of life's little ironies, I suppose.

two men are standing next to each other and one is holding a piece of cloth Alt: A GIF of the scene from the original The Producers film, where Gene Wilder's fragile Leo Bloom character is freaking out because the other protagonist took his blue blanket from him.

I'm sure this has already been said many times over, but all I can think of whenever I read about the Kristi Noem blanket incident:

nobody posted the clip anywhere so i went and dug the whole episode up

The other day I pulled one of the drawers in the kitchen out and it must’ve come off track and I knew something was wrong with it but I just pushed it in and walked away, later on in the day my wife fixed it and I was like “I thought something was wrong there. Good job”

if you played sonic the hedgehog and put down the controller, sonic would look at you and tap his foot impatiently. this was proof that sega genesis cartridges had souls. the decision was made to make the storage cases a lot larger than the cartridges so they would have room to move around in there

Harry Potter:
- stupid
- only enjoyed by sad 38 year olds
- sucks shit
- no one cares

Dragon Ball:
- awesome
- beloved by all
- its “the good stuff”
- goku is my friend

Rep. Delia Ramirez to DHS officials: "I have as much respect for you as I do for the last white men who put on masks to terrorize communities of color. I have no respect for the inheritors of the Klanhood and the slave patrol. Those activities were criminal and so are yours."

i'm a fan of the rhetorical one-two of "we're coming after you in this life and in the next"

(Woody Allen eating a Da Bomb wing on Hot Ones)

WOODY: Boy, that's like dating your first Gentile girl, there's a real sting to it. Wowee, that's hotter than a New York cab in August. Havin' flop sweat like after the Curse of the Jade Scorpion premiere.

SEAN: Was it weird marrying your daughter?

A post on threads from user stephens_bens. It reads 'I'll always remember an interview with Steve Buscemi on Bulleye, Jesse Thorn asked him "As an actor with many decades of varied and outstanding roles across your career, does it ever bother you that one of the things you will most be remembered for is a 3-second gif in which you're wearing a backwards baseball cap and carrying a skateboard?" And without missing a beat, Buscemi replied "I'm carrying *two* skateboards." And you know what? He is.' Below that is a screen cap of Buscemi's famous "fellow kids" moment.

I never noticed this either.

Bad Bunny? Oh, you mean the caddy from Happy Gilmore 2?

I don't even care about Jurassic Park, but I hate this shit so much.

Christ, I just want everything in the world to stop sucking for literally just one half of a second.

A yellow "caution wet floor" standee. The bottom is flared so it looks like a banana peel.

Standee, deployed

This object is a legitimate masterpiece of design

Wow, that sounds like a good deal. I mean, fifty of them? That's a lot of things!

What the fuck are you talking about, idiot? YOU don't even like him. He's a Cabbage Patch doll that you stick in a flak jacket and send out to get pelted with tomatoes.

I really hope everything crumbles - irreparably, immeasurably - for these idiots while I'm still alive. I want to be able to experience that insane level of joy at least once before I die.

you know Trinity should have probably just shot the agent without warning, nobody had ever killed an agent before, they were deadly quick, but she had to get out the "Dodge this" and that's why we win, folks

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Incredible stuff happening at Spencer’s Gifts